Here's a Story that Proves Sometimes All's Not Well and Doesn't End Well

Way back when I was in the Boy Scouts - sometime around the dawn of time, I think - our troop went on an overnighter to a local state park. It was a nice park; a clean park, with great facilities and a nice fresh water well.

Usually, this was a setup that I loved because I am basically a clean freak. I try to bath at least once a day and I follow our cat around with a dustpan and brush, if she's just used her box because she always manages to track her sand to weird places.

So, you can imagine how thrilled I was to be going on an overnight to a clean park with great facilities that even included separate sanitary facilities (no latrines for this boy's butt, especially in black fly season - it's itch to say the least and they always seem to get you where you are most vulnerable - enough said).

Still, I had this habit of taking two canteens of clean water with me from our house. Don't ask me why because I really don't know, but it's probably got to do with being a clean freak.

This time, though, I came out way ahead.

It seems that one of our troop decided that it would be a good idea to leave a bar of soap by the well so that everyone could wash up (beginning to see what's wrong with this picture?) It wasn't long before the ground was soaked with water that contained nice clean soap that headed right back down to the aquifer from which the well drew it's water.

So, there I am, drinking from my canteens and not thinking much about it, when one of the guys runs over to the sanitary facilities; then a few minutes later another of the guys did and then the assistant scoutmaster did. The line kept getting longer and no one could figure out why and no one could figure out why I wasn't affected.

To say it was a night of moaning and running, is putting it mildly, until someone had the bright idea of checking the well. And, guess what they found floating on a small pond of water? Why, it was a bar of soap.

With the mystery solved, camp life resumed with a little more normality although lots of guys were still lining up. At least, though, they were cleaned out.

It's a shame they never had a constipation solution merit badge because I know someone who would have had it with clusters.

By the way, he wasn't invited back to any further campouts so the soap problem went away. And I missed a minibout with New England's form of the Montezuma two-step.