He's Not that into You

As women, we tend to look for signs that our relationship is going in the right direction, that the guy we like also likes us back, and that the guy is as serious as we are. The problem comes in when we overlook the obvious and instead try to turn everything into a sign that he is more "into us" than he appears to be. So how do you know if he's into you?

If he's into you, he will be calling, asking you out, and trying to spend all the time with you he can. He won't be canceling anytime one of his friends makes a better offer. He won't be calling you at the last minute because he didn't have anything better to do with his Friday night. Guys who really like you will be making the moves to see you.

If he's into you, he will be proud to introduce you as his girlfriend to his friends and family. If he's avoiding introducing you to his friends, business associates, or family, it's a pretty sure sign he only wants to be seen with you when no one he knows is watching. Ditch him fast.

If he's into you, he will want to please you. It won't always be where he wants to go, or what he wants to do. He will even watch an old black and white romance movie with you and record his Monday Night Football. Of course, you have to be willing to sacrifice for him at times, too, but it won't all be one-sided.

If he's into you, he will say so. He will ask you to be his girlfriend, ask for the two of you to date exclusively and then will follow through. If he's not willing to commit to dating only you, it means he's seeing you but waiting for something better to come along. After a few dates, if he's not trying to be your one and only, then don't be his. And don't fall for the "I'm not ready to commit to one person" thing. If he says that, it only means he's not ready to commit to YOU. If he says he only wants to be friends, then he only wants to be friends.

If he's into you, he will put you before drugs, alcohol, and porn. He won't show up drunk at your house. He won't try to pull you into his bad habits. He will want to be at his best for you. If he's not willing to put you ahead of his drinking, then you're already fighting a losing battle.

If he's into you, he will want to spend time with the people you care about. He won't mind that your heartbroken friend drops by for a shoulder to cry on, or that your mother needs you to come by to see your ailing father. He won't mind if you spend time with your kids, but will want to be a part of that. In other words, he won't be possessive and jealous of those whom you hold dear.

If he's into you, he won't lie to you. He won't say he will do something he won't do, or that he'll be there for you and not show up. He won't be inconsiderate because he will value you enough to want to hold onto you. He will tell you he's into you. He will let you know you are important. He won't leave you wondering and looking for signs.

If he's into you, it won't just be about sex. If he's much more interested in your before sex than he is afterward, then it's the sex that is important, not you. If you are afraid he won't call you back if you don't sleep with him, then he's not into you. He's just into sex and you're handy.

So how do you know if he's into you? If you have to wonder, then he's probably not.