Hi God! I'm Getting the Swing of Things

I bought some perfume today. No, no. Don't stop the presses. I actually think the world will be fine without that being announced on the evening news.

I bought some perfume because I have wanted some for years. Being broke for so long; something as minor as buying a small sample of perfume is a big deal. It shouldn't be.

I paid $6.99 for a tester bottle of perfume and had a slight panic attack. I stood rationalizing that purchase for about twenty minutes. I'm still behind on bills, I still owe people and I still have not found a position that would put me in an income bracket to afford some minor niceties.

Although I have not had any major changes in my life (financially), I have come to realize that maybe my attitude is partly why doors are not opening. After all, it's all in the presentation. And if I continue to present myself as down trodden, grief stricken and destitute, people are going to get really comfortable seeing me in that mode and will treat me accordingly.

No, I am not wandering the streets of Texas in sack cloth and ashes. I pull myself together each morning and am physically presentable. But, non-verbal is so much louder than any spoken word.

I may bathe and put on makeup, but my overall expression is one of sadness. Even I can feel the sadness through my smile. Happiness that is forced is fake and that will put you in a not so positive light.

Yep, I bought that tiny bottle of perfume; along with a new suit (Burlington Coat Factory Clearence $16.99). You see, I have a job interview tomorrow. This interview, should it manifest into a new career, will allow me to safely make minor purchases without needing a deliberator on standby. I will also be able to afford my basic needs, to include paying people back.

How does one get to this point in life? Well, if you read my other messages to God you'll know that it only takes one minor set back to knock you off track. I've watched shows where people talked about missing one check and wound up homeless. I am thankful for my inner-hood and the ability to survive during times of adversity.

Today, before leaving the office, I was speaking with a young man who is well on his way to excellence. Our young cadet (Cantu) is positioning himself to become a police officer. He is currently making $10,000 a year, is a full-time student and one damn good worker.

Today is payday and we were chatting at the end of my shift about our checks. His piecing blue eyes were in full blaze as he exclaimed, "Do you realize I will be making 4 times my salary once I get out of the academy!I'm not going to know how to act!" I couldn't help but laugh at his 20 year old enthusiasm. I was also comforted by the innocence of his glee.

"Yes. And here's a website I want you to check out, TODAY", I said as I handed him a card with FIDELITY.COM written on it.

You see, I once was making 4 times my current salary and as I told this young, gifted cadet, you never know how life will turn; make provisions now.

This interview has lifted my spirits and is giving me hope. Yes, I bought that little bottle of perfume as a way of saying to myself, "It is time to be the best me". I bought that little bottle of perfume as a symbol of something bigger on its way. I bought that little bottle of perfume because when I walk into that interview tomorrow in my new suit, wearing what's left of my five year old MAC make-up and gently coiffed hair, I want to smell and look like I am worthy of representing this organization.

As I dab spots of perfume behind my ears, knees and elbows, I'm raising the bar for myself and what I expect of me.

I am not broke, busted or disgusted. I am standing strong and am ready to receive my blessings because I did not faint (Galatians 6:9). I am presenting myself in a manner that lets people know I am loved and worthy. My Father has told me what is expected of me and being the best I can was part of that message.

So, before my head touches my pillow tonight
Before I think of turning out the light

I'll thank God for what I have and what's to come
I will not let anticipation make me numb

Cause you see, it's all a part of His plan
That His children inherit this land

But to be deemed worthy we must sacrifice
Our pride, our flesh cause He gave the ultimate price

I truly believe that Love conquers all
So I'll start with myself in hopes it resonates to you all

Goodnight, Good morning, whenever you read this
Regardless of your place make sure you know where His is (Matthew 6:33)