Hidden and Unforgotten Love

Marriage. Some people ask why do you do it, some ask the most unbearable question what are you thinking? I can't answer these questions anymore. A few years back I thought I could. I was married to the love of my life for 10 years. We were high school sweethearts, had 3 children and lost 2 children. I never thought my life would be turned upside down in a single week.

I knew for some time that I wasn't in love anymore. I just didn't know what to do or how to do it. Anything. I didn't want to do anything. I was happy where I was in my life and what was happening around me. Or so I thought.

In high school I had a major crush on a wild one. I never thought he would look twice at me. So no moves were made or comments exchanged. I was in my sophomore year of high school and it was Valentine's Day. My school had a lot of activities for us. It was candy canes around Christmas, roses on Valentine's Day, you get the picture. Well, on Valentine's Day the boys got to send their favorite girls roses. I didn't expect to get any because I was the friendly one. Party girl. When I came out of my class, I went to my locker and to my surprise I saw 5 roses. Hmmm, who in the world would have sent these to me? The more I looked I saw the famous Secret Admirer label. Laughing and smiling, I went to my dearest friends and showed them all. We sat during classes all day thinking of who sent them. Or why. Narrowing our list to a mere 50 guys, we set out on our journey. It took 2 whole days to ask everyone and they all said the same thing. NO. So who could it have been?

Now it brings us to almost 12 years later. I became friends with my neighbor who in turn is the sister of my infamous crush in high school. He came around every now and then and was always with his girlfriends and me with my husband. As the flames flickered again I felt like a kid. Blushing, smiling and laughing all over. As time passed, we got closer. The marriage was ending fast. The romance was starting faster.

That was all over 7 months ago. My marriage is over. The big"D" word is soon looming. Filing divorce papers and shuffling our 3 kids isn't what we expected. We are civil to each other, talked out our problems and decided it was better for us to go our separate ways. So here we are.

The romance on the other hand is blooming as we speak. I am in love all over again with my high school crush and we are happier than we have ever been in our lives. We are suited for each other and it's a feeling of fate. As the romance bloomed, so did our stories of high school. My crush turned out to be his crush. The unknown roses? Turns out his crush on me was bigger than mine. I didn't even put his name on the list of possible guys because it never crossed my mind. Had I sat and thought, it might have. Now that I look back, I remember the winks, the smiles and little moments we exchanged.

People now ask me, do you regret your marriage. When you have children how can you regret anything? I wouldn't change anything for the world. I had a rough few years granted, but it still isn't worth me saying I would change anything. Things happen for a reason. We may not know why, but it's all planned out for us.

I am currently filing for divorce and going to be unmarried for a brief time. I am engaged to my crush and wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. He treats me good and my kids, loves me like I have never been loved and respects me. He is more the lover/friend than anyone has ever been.