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it was something that i
couldn't touch
wrapped in amber, the years held it captive
and i wanted it more
than it hurt

i was the only thing smaller than me
clouds crushing screaming out
grey epithets
sent the sun
sent the sun
far away

they say that the light can beat darkness
and i wish i could see
through that door.

they have windows and outlets, tall chimneys for smoke
they can breathe
pressed up tight
near the cracks

there is no plastic, here
there is no second chance
there are no trap doors
no bridges
no sky
opened up and accepting
no truth to be told

i wanted to tell you
i wanted to say
but the truth would only bind you

and i let you walk away
believing hate.