Highlights of Greek Mythology: The Scandalous Sex Life of Zeus

When Homer called Zeus "the father of gods and mortals", he may have meant it metaphorically, but he wasn't all that off the mark either. You see, father Zeus (i.e. Zeus pater, Jupiter) begot several gods as well as numerous demigods, heroes, and founders of ancient Greek dynasties. He just wouldn't stop begetting. The love affairs, conquests, infidelities, and sexual escapades of Zeus were notorious in the ancient world, much to the chagrin of Hera, his wife.

Between seducing women and dodging Hera's vengeful wrath, Zeus had his work cut out for him. He had to be extra resourceful and never, ever, resort to the same seduction technique twice. Having king-of-the-gods super powers sure helped, but you got to hand it to him: When it came to wooing, Zeus' bag of tricks was - by Jove! - inexhaustible.

Written in the stars:

Callisto was a nymph of Artemis, the goddess of chastity. Therefore, it was in Callisto's job description to remain a virgin at all costs. In his infinite inventiveness (and lust), Zeus approached the young nymph in the guise of a woman, the goddess Artemis no less. Callisto let her, well, guard down, and Zeus had his way with her. Callisto got pregnant, which was a big no-no among Artemis' followers. To make things worse, Hera transformed the wretched girl into a bear. In typical male chauvinist fashion (aka too little, too late) Zeus placed Callisto in the heavens as the constellation Ursa Major (Latin for The Great Bear). Talk about star-crossed liaisons!

Blame it on the rain:

Danae was a mythical Greek princess, daughter of Acrisius, king of the ancient city of Argos. Acrisius was told by the Oracle that Danae would give birth to a son that would kill him. In an effort to elude the fulfillment of the oracle, Acrisius locked Danae away in a dungeon. Zeus took the form of golden rain and so gained access to Danae's prison and had sex with her. Their son, Perseus (yes, the slayer of the Medusa), did end up killing his grandfather, albeit accidentally. If you ask Acrisius, it never rains but it pours.

Bull's-eye:

Europa (Latin for Europe) was a lovely Phoenician princess who happened to catch Zeus' roving eye. Zeus went with a zoological approach in her case, and transformed into a big, beautiful white bull, that just happened to be grazing in the very same meadow where Europa and her girlfriends were picking flowers. Europa, impressed with the beast, approached him, stroked him, and (of course) mounted him. At which point, the bull took off, went straight for the sea, and didn't stop going until they'd reached the island of Crete. Later, Zeus commemorated his conquest by creating the constellation of Taurus (Latin for bull). Beginning to see a pattern here?

A bird in the hand:

Leda, queen of the ancient Greek city-state of Sparta, was already married when Zeus set his sights on her. He'd probably figured out early on that she wouldn't take any... bull from him, so he took the form of a swan, pretended he was being pursued by an eagle (a symbol of Zeus), and very conveniently landed in Leda's lap as she was bathing in a lake. Their relationship, such as it was, was promptly consummated, and resulted in two eggs from which hatched four children: two boys, Castor and Pollux, and two girls, Clytemnestra and Helen, the latter also known as Helen of Troy. The encounter of Leda with the swan became a popular erotic motif in Renaissance art, stoking the creative fires of artists such as Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Correggio, and Cesare da Sesto.

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_mythology

http://www.pantheon.org/areas/mythology/europe/greek/articles.html