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Hilarious Caricatures of the Candidates

With a Psyco-physical Accessment of Maybe Obvious Thingys

David Claerr
Late last night I had a visit from one of my best friends Gimplethorp, an alien from the planet Zygor in the Alpha Centurian system. We go way back.

Anyway, he was here for the political caucuses, because from where he comes from, the sentient life-forms regard them as some of the best entertainment in the galaxy if you are into ridiculous humanoids. To them it's sort of like watching demented ducks waddling around squawking at each other. Well, that's the analogy he used.

When I asked him what he found so funny, he offered to lend me his "Truth in Vision" goggles, which employ an advanced technology that enables the wearer to see things as they really are by filtering out effects of things like stage-make up, phony mannerisms and disingenuous acting as well as the preconceived notions of the viewer.

It was an eye-opening and somewhat shocking experience. I began comprehend the true inner nature of the candidates. I also viewed their likenesses as the Zygorians perceive them. So, I felt duty-bound as an artist and latent-scientific researcher to record my perceptions for posterity and history's sake.

Amazingly, one of the candidates, whose spouse formerly held office, has taken on a significant portion of his internal essence, and if elected will have the governing effect of not one, but two "co-presidents". The Zygorians refer to her as "HillBillary" partly in a reference to something about Arkansas and partly the dual personalities. (They always smirk when they say that.)

Another incredible candidate is apparently exceedingly "hip" despite having entered politics as a profession. His internal composition resembles that of a hip-hopster. Gimplethorp informs me that, if elected, he could be considered the first not-entirely-black and not-entirely-white, either, guy in the oval office. I don't know what that means. Zygorians call him "Yo, Bama"

Yet another candidate somehow has adopted the chipper, energetic mannerisms of an arboreal rodent. (Zygorians wish to sample his DNA and conduct tests for human-animal hybridism.) Gimplethorp informs me that if elected, he could be considered the first not-entirely-rebublican and not-entirely-democratic, either, guy in the whitehouse. I think I know what that means. Zygorians refer to him as "ChipMunCain"

Sadly, one of the candidates, now a has-been or also-ran will no longer be appearing in the comedy routines. He was a very dogged campaigner, able to sniff out donations and support, and seldom barked up the wrong tree. (Zygorians also want to test him for canine DNA due to certain similarities to the bloodhound breed) He is affectionately known on Zygor as "MuttRomNee".

So there you have it. I hope the images publish with this article. If they don't I will post a link in the comments section below. On behalf of Zygor I salute you'all and now sign off.

Published by David Claerr

Artist and Published Author Certified Adobe Expert  View profile

  • See things through the "Truth in Vision" goggles
Some candidates may or may not be the results of human-animal hybrids and/or gene splicing by aliens, some of whom are green and some of whom are grey.

1 Comments

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  • robritt3/5/2008

    What great caricatures. You are really talented and I loved your article too.

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