Hillary Clinton's 3 A.M. Telephone Script

It is 3AM on January 21, 2009. By some miraculous election year tricks and cosmic comedy Hillary Clinton is elected President. She is found in the Yellow Room in her trademark black pants suit and coiffed hair propped up on the sofa trying to get some sleep.

The phone rings. Hillary struggles to contain her excitement. "Finally" she thinks to herself "that no good Barack is calling to apologize". Sadly it's a detective from the Metro police in Washington DC.

"Mr...err.. Mrs..President?"

"What is it?" Hillary asks

"Mrs. President, this is Detective Ramsey with the DC Police. I need you to come to our headquarters immediately"

"Excuse you? Who the hell do you think I am? I am the President of the United States. I will not come down to the HQ"

"Mrs. Clinton" the detective continues "as a courtesy to you I think it would be better for you to handle this quietly. I have Bill in custody. He was caught breaking into the GAP store in Georgetown".

"You have the wrong Bill" HRC concludes.

"No Madam. He was smoking pot, rambling on about Newt Gingrich and we caught him red handed trying on a blue dress screaming Monica's name"

"I'll be right down" Hillary says.

Do we will need another four years of the dirty sex and political life of the Clintons in the White House?