Hiring a Wedding Planner to Plan 2nd or 3rd Wedding, Minimize Stress with In-Laws and Parents

Planning a wedding is a lot of work - the guest list, the food, the flowers, the table decorations, the men's wear, the bridesmaid's and wedding gown, the photographer, the hall, there are so many things to do, how can you do it all? If you want a low stress wedding, consider hiring a wedding planner, particularly if it is your second or third wedding, or if the in-laws have different ideas that are adding stress to your already hectic life.

What's a good party?

I have a friend that has a flair for throwing a fantastic party. She is detail oriented and loves to make sure her guests are having a good time. I knew this because I had attended many of her holiday parties.

One year she spent time carving 50 pumpkins filling them with candles so that they graced her driveway and greeted guests as they arrived. She always spent hours shopping and creating gift baskets that she would raffle off, to help pay for the cost of the party and open bar.

At her parties folks were always made to feel comfortable as soon as they came in, and the decorations would be enough to spark conversations. I had been to Heather's parties for years when my fiance and I decided that we were going to get married.

Married more than once? Feeling funny about going through the whole thing again?

Since I had been married previously, I didn't think it was right to go through the ceremony again in front of my family and friends. Plus, I knew how many hours it would take to plan a wedding. At the time, I was going to school, working and also singing on weekends, with my original Rock-and-Roll band; my fiance was my drummer. I didn't have time to plan a big wedding and I didn't really care about the ceremony - having already 'been there and done that'.

The problem was my husband hadn't been married before and his parents, particularly his mother, wanted him to have a nice wedding.

Maybe guys don't grow up thinking about their wedding day like girls do, but they do give it at least a little thought. If he had been willing we would have eloped but he didn't want to face the wrath of his parents and in the end, my fiance had a long list of people he wanted to invite too, so I gave in and we had a "formal" wedding and reception..

Set the terms, the budget and the rules for the party planner

We started with an agreement that we would have a traditional wedding ceremony as long as I didn't have to plan it. I just wanted to show up and enjoy the day. The details would be left to my "wedding planner", if she agreed to do the job. Of course, I would be consulted, but I didn't want to be calling people or making arrangements.

Fortunately, my very gifted friend, agreed and became my wedding planner. I gave her our budget, and a general idea of what we were going to do. I told her would have a DJ and our band would play. We also wanted a sit down dinner at 6:00pm and at midnight, a light buffet. That way people who had been drinking all night could sober up before they left when the party was over at around 2:00am.

Talk to the party planner

When my mother-in-law called and wanted to give me advice or ask me if I had done something, I would ask her, "Did you talk to Heather? She's in charge."

At first, I don't think she believed it, but after the second time of getting that response from me, she deferred to my wedding planner. I wasn't going to fight with her about what she wanted and this way, I didn't have to.

Enjoy the party

The day of my wedding, I felt absolutely beautiful. I was feeling refreshed because I had relaxed the day before the wedding, and had not spent the entire time fretting over the last minute details like I had with my previous experiences.

In fact, I was totally and enthusiastically happy to be there. It was one of the best gigs my band ever had, and it was the best wedding reception party I ever threw, thanks to my wonderful wedding reception party planner.

If you are considering a second wedding, or third wedding, and you feel kind of funny about it, or if you don't have time to plan a wedding, or if you don't want to deal with the rent's and the in-laws, hire a wedding planner and minimize the stress. You will be very glad you did.