His Bad Habits Are Ruining Our Relationship

It's Monday morning and you are heading back to work with a clear head after two days of rest and relaxation, but he is going in late because of a headache from yesterday's hangover. Once again your paycheck will have to cover both of you. His will be short. It will be on your mind all day.

It's Wednesday and he and all of his friends are going out. You ask him to take it easy with the debit card but you know when you look at the statement, you will be shocked by the amount he's spent buying rounds for the boys, cheeseburgers, and spicy cigars.

It's Saturday morning and your parents are on their way over to bring some treasures found in their attic. You frantically spray air freshener all over the house, hoping to get the smell of smoke out before your mother arrives. You hate the tension when she criticizes his smoking. You will fight about it when she leaves.

It's Sunday morning and you are eager to enjoy the last day of the weekend at a gallery or park but it's noon and he is still sleeping off last night's activities. You go alone because he thinks when you hang out with your friends, you talk about him. Later you will resent him for wasting most of the day.

Sound familiar?

When your boyfriend has bad habits that you don't, the stress can ruin half of every week. The choices you make can ease your stress or add to it.

The first question you have to ask yourself is: "Is he worth it?" If you answered "Yes." then read on, there are ways to cope without taking up his destructive habits. If you answered "No." you know what to do.

Next ask yourself: "Will he change?"
The answer to that is always when he is ready, and some men are never ready, so the next question is:

"Can you change him?" No, you can't.

Here are tips for accepting him and finding a way to compromise.

On Sunday nights see to it that no visitors are allowed. Make it your together time. Share a home cooked meal, pizza with a rental movie, or a home improvement project. Not only will it cement your relationship, it will keep him healthy for Monday morning.

Schedule your parents for times when you know you will just be returning home or waking up so the house will smell good and there will be no reason for them to complain. You could meet them at their house instead, or ask him to smoke outside from now on, it's healthier for everyone involved!

When his friends drag him out for the night be ready with cash from the ATM and ask him to leave his card at home. He will stay inside the budget without feeling deprived. (Just make sure you don't discuss it in front of his friends, money is matter of pride to a lot of men.)

Enjoy some 'me time' on Sunday mornings, take a long bubble bath, run, paint, read, bicycle, or draw. If you know you will have that time, use it to do something only you love and savor the time. (Church is another option.) Alternatively schedule the time with your friends and keep your promise to only say positive things about him.

Take comfort in the fact that many men do eventually outgrow the destructive habits of youth. If you ride out those years with love and patience you will have a relationship that may last a lifetime.