Hitting the Queue Ball with a Cane

Proper line standing is a skill one must acquire and I have acquired this skill. One must enjoy their time in line and take their focus off getting to the front. One must learn to entertain them-self with those who are also standing in line with you.

I am the one who likes to think he observes the goofy things other people do while standing in line and not the one who does the goofy things. This is my confession of a goofy thing I did while standing in line.

I walk with a cane, not just for looks but I need it to steady a leg that goes South when I want to go North. When I am standing still, the leg needs to go in no direction so the cane is not needed. I hang it on my forearm. In order that the cane hanging on my forearm does not slip I hold my arm parallel with the ground.

After long periods of standing I tend to rock on my heels and when I rock, my cane which is hanging on my forearm, will also rock. When I rock forward, the cane will rock outward and when I rock backward, it will rock inward.

Here=s the scene. I am standing in line, or better said, queuing up at the Tower of London. I am rocking and my cane is rocking in the opposite direction plus I am in a line of closely packed people. Directly behind me was a young couple who after several of my attempts at conversation told me they were on their honeymoon.

The husband did all of the talking while the wife just giggled. He kept leaning back from me as if I had a bad odor and the wife kept giggling harder. I remained determined to hold a conversation with these two honeymooning Brits. Until my wife pointed out to me, what was happening.

Each time I rocked forward my cane rocked between the legs of the young gentleman. As time went on my rocking became more intense and the intrusion of the cane into his groin likewise became more intense. Little did I know that I was robbing these newly weds of possible future parenthood each time I rocked.

Finally, his bride=s giggling made me turn to see my cane squarely hitting him in genitalia bull=s-eye, so to speak. I immediately withdrew the offending cane and apologized. The young man looked at me with a pained smile and said in a proper British accent, "No harm done sir.@ His bride continued to giggle. For the remainder of the day this couple did their best to avoid standing anywhere near me.