Holiday Cheer in Short Supply This Year

While standing at the counter of a department store testing fragrances for my wife's Christmas present, I was tapped on the shoulder by a long time friend who owns a wine boutique in a busy shopping district of a charming little nearby town.

"How goes the store?" I asked.

"Oh, it's going," she said, pasting a smile across her face. If you read between the line with your retailing friends, you come to appreciate they need to be an optimist to stay in business these days.

"Well, should I dress up as a skinny Santa Claus and haul people in off the sidewalk?" I asked.

She laughed and agreed that might be a good idea. "Even Santa's skinny in a lean year like this, she agreed. "And you better not look for 8 reindeer on the sleigh this year, either. We had to eat one to survive!"

"I'll do my best to suck in my cheeks like this," I said, making my face look hollow. "Santa's gotta look hungry and desperate. Then I'll ho-ho-hold the customers hostage until they agree to come in and buy something."

"Just tell them the elves are starving because we can't afford to pay them minimum wage," she suggested. "People have a lot of empathy for elves, I think."

"And we could tell them Santa had to cut their health insurance benefits too. Now none of the elves can afford to take time off work to get their swine flu shots. So they're all busy puking on the toys."

"Yes, it's tough up there in the North Pole, isn't it Santa?" she said in mock sympathy. "I bet Mrs. Claus isn't even putting out. Can't afford any more little Clauses running around when the Christmas market crashes."

"Well," I laughed. "Maybe dressing up as a skinny Santa is a little over the top. But I do promise to come by and buy some Christmas cheer. A good bottle of red goes a long way when you're short on green."

"Happy Holidays," she offered.

"You too. I'll be sure to rent my red suit next week," I replied.

"You do that. We retailers can use all the help we can get."