Holiday Depression

The holiday season, from Thanksgiving through Christmas, is one of the hardest times of the year for people who have experienced the loss of a loved one. There are not fast and easy solutions to getting through this period, only time can truly heal the pain. There are steps you can take to help ease the pain and make your holiday feel a little less depressing.

Acknowledge your feelings. Don't allow yourself or others to discount the pain you feel. If there are people around you who try to tell you to 'get over it' or that it's been 'a long time, you'll be fine' you have every right to politely excuse yourself from their presence and go be with people who validate your feelings and will allow you to work through your grief.

If you know ahead of time that there are going to be people who do not understand the grief you are feeling, make plans now not to spend the holiday with them. It may be a difficult decision to make; you may have to tell family members that you are making other plans this year. If they truly care about you they will understand and possibly even decide to change their attitude.

This holiday may be a good time to try something new, don't toss out all of the traditions you shared with your loved one, but start a new tradition to help ease yourself into the holiday. You aren't forgetting your loved one; you are honoring their memory by continuing on with life as they would want you to. Perhaps you serve dinner on Grandma's favorite platter or cook that special dessert your mom would have like. It could even be as simple as a song playing that was their favorite. However, don't saturate yourself in the memory to the point of depression.

Make plans ahead of time to have people who love you and care about you around. Plan a day with friends or family members who understand what you are going through. Talk about your loved one but don't make them the focal point of your day. Take a walk and have a talk with your higher power, don't keep it bottled up. Make time for yourself, take a breather from the goings on and relax.

Recognize the signs of depression and have a plan to combat it. Depression can be a long and lingering affliction that varies in its progression. Be aware of the alcohol served at holiday gatherings. Depression during the holidays can be compounded by alcohol. If you find that you need more holiday eggnog than normal just to make it through the day's events, you should seek a doctor's care.

The signs of depression can mimic those of ordinary grieving; however, they last for much longer periods and get worse instead of better. If you find yourself with no motivation to wake up in the mornings and you don't really see a reason for getting dressed, you are probably suffering from depression. Changes in appetite, either not eating at all or binge eating are also signs of depression that need to be addressed.

Your family doctor can assess your symptoms and offer both prescription treatments and suggestions for counseling. The key is to recognize that depression does happen and that during the holidays it quite often deepens. Spending your first holiday without your loved one is not easy but you can make it through with the help of friends and family.