Holiday Gift-Giving--The Aftermath

As we are surviving the aftermath of another Christmas gift-giving season, many things have come to mind about the whole gift exchanging ordeal. I thought of a few guidelines that, if people followed, might make the season a little less stressful, and perhaps a bit more spirit-filled.

Regarding the gifts themselves:

(1) If the gift requires batteries and they are not included, make sure the necessary batteries are wrapped with the gift. Or better yet, unhook all the twist-ties and peel back all the tape in the packaging and insert the batteries ahead of time. Nothing is more disappointing to a child is watching their parent spend 20 minutes releasing their prized toy from the thief and parent-proof packaging...only to realize that it can't work without batteries, and to not have any batteries available to then make the toy operational.

(2) If there's a chance that more than one person may have bought the same gift for the same person, make sure you include a gift receipt in the packaging. Once upon a time, stores had more friendly return policies. However, many stores have cracked down on returns, and many (especially Target) who won't accept returns without a receipt.

One year, a relative bought a gift for our girls which was in special packaging for Target. Turns out the girls had no interest in the item, which took over ½ hour to hook up. We packaged it back up and tried to return it to Target, as it said "especially for Target" on the packaging...and so it couldn't have come from any other store. We explained that it was a Christmas present from a relative, and that the girls showed absolutely no interest in it and we were desperate. No amount of persuading, begging or tears would move the Target policy. We finally were able to contact some very understanding people at the manufacturer, who agreed to accept the return, in exchange for credit for merchandise at their website.

This year, our younger daughter received two of the same toy. We opened one for her to play with, and planned to exchanged the second. However, as there was no gift receipt, we had to make a guess as to where to return the item. The store we thought it was purchased at said that the item wasn't in their system. Rather than run to multiple stores to find out whether they would take it back, we opted to purchase something else for our daughter and re-gift the toy instead.

(3) Another thing about buying gifts-if someone is very specific with you about what they want, please pay careful attention to what they are asking for. Don't be afraid to ask for clarification. One year we asked for a handheld game unit for our child's birthday. The relative misunderstood, and bought a game cartridge for the unit itself...which our child didn't yet own. Another year, our child asked for a specific movie DVD. It was the sequel to an original movie (and had the name "2" in the title). Apparently there were several versions of the original and sequel of the movie out at that time, and so when she opened the gift, it turned out to be the original, not the sequel (But the response was "but there were 2 disks in the package...")

(4) If you are requesting clothing, please be specific about sizes. If necessary, include stores and brands, as not all brands are sized the same and some things fit better than others. Shoes are very difficult to purchase for people sight unseen because it is very hard to determine how a shoe is going to fit and feel unless it's actually it is worn by the intended wearer. You can match an outline of the foot to the outline of a shoe, but it still only gives an approximate prediction to how it will actually feel when worn.

If you are giving clothing, just as I mentioned above, please make sure you include a gift receipt or just a receipt. Don't take it personally if something needs to be returned. Wouldn't you rather the gift recipient is able to take the money you spent on the item and put it to the best use possible--rather than having them have to give the item away because it doesn't fit/or it's a color or style they don't like-but are too polite to say to you directly?

(5) This next note is specifically regarding teachers' gifts. Until this year, I was merely a Mom scrambling to find appropriate teacher's gifts at my girls' schools. This year, I was still a Mom scrambling to find appropriate teacher's gifts, but I was also a teacher, receiving gifts from many of my students. Now, don't get me wrong-I enjoy receiving tokens of appreciation from my students. I really do. However, after this Christmas, I think I will need to go on a serious diet...after all the chocolates and cookies are consumed, of course! And that may take another two or three months! I'm serious-every time I turned around, it seemed I was getting another yummy box of candy or bag of homemade cookies! I was going to go into sugar shock if I wasn't careful! So when giving a gift to a teacher, DO consider alternatives to food.

I now see why the one year I made pinecone ornaments for each of my daughter's teachers, they still talk about them years later. It was personal, unique, and didn't have any calories! (It also didn't cost me much money to create them -- just the beads and cords, as the pinecones were collected from our neighborhood)! I didn't have time to make pinecone ornaments for my daughters' teachers this year, but I did find mini-picture frame ornaments at Michael's and then inserted photos of my girls that were appropriate for each teacher. For my daughter's classroom teacher, I found a photo of my daughter reading intently, and another of my daughter dressed in her leotard and posing in a ballet position for her ballet teacher. I hope that the teachers would consider the gift something personal and meaningful to show that we appreciate them -- and it shouldn't be something that people spend a lot of money on.

This year, some of my favorite gifts from my students were a pen and pencil set, a rebozo (a Hispanic shawl), and a candy cane reindeer (made from two candy canes, two googly eyes, and a couple other decorations-and was incredibly cute)! Other gifts that I thought were unique included a nice bag of gourmet trail mix (something that included some protein, not just sugar), a gift card to a restaurant, and a card with one piece of candy taped to it (something of a manageable size). The most appreciated and meaningful gifts don't have to be the ones that people spent lots of money on. They should just come from the heart, and show the teacher that he/she is appreciated.

Finally, last year I baked up a storm, and everyone (including all of my daughters' teachers) received gifts of cookies. I will most likely still give food gifts to many people at future holidays, but you'll be sure that I'll make an effort to put more thought into teachers' gifts-as we don't all need to be constantly eating sweets!

(6) Finally, I feel compelled to comment about gift cards. I think gift cards are a nice invention and are appreciated-it's always the right size and right color, and don't contain any calories (unless you spend them on food, of course). However, when the extent of the gift-giving is exchanging gift cards, it can get a bit silly. Last year, my sister-in-law and I exchanged matching Target Gift cards in the same dollar amount. We had to laugh about it afterward. This year, we received gift cards from the same relatives and that totaled the same amount from the relatives that received gift cards from us. I'm not saying I don't like the principle of gift cards at all, but if we're all spending the same amount on each other for equivalent gift cards, wouldn't it be easier for us to just buy what we need and just say it's from our relatives and they do the same for us? That is, in many cases, the function of gift cards. You take the gift cards and spend it on what you'd buy or need anyway.

If you do feel compelled to buy gift cards for your relatives, please remember to put your name on the space that says "From" so we know it came from you! This past Christmas, my husband and I ended up with a whole stack of gift cards from our relatives. However, in the gift opening confusion complete with flying gift-wrap from the children opening their gifts, we never did find out who the gift cards were from, and were then unable to give appropriate thanks to the appropriate people So, to my relatives who are reading this-if you gave us gift cards this past Christmas, THANK YOU!!! They were appreciated!

Next Christmas, I'm going to suggest a White Elephant exchange. It's more fun and interactive, and no one has to spend any money on anyone else. And, if they do feel compelled to spend money on each other, I'd like to suggest that we each select one or two favorite charities, and then have the relatives make a donation to their relative's favorite charity in the amount they would have spent on a gift. That avoids shopping, crowds, parking, or shipping charges. And another organization will benefit as well. Here's hoping everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year!