Holiday Guilt: Dealing with the Charity Drives

It's getting chilly and the decorations are starting to go up. Winter signals the beginning of the holiday season and the inevitable holiday guilt. It's the time of year we think specifically about those less fortunate than ourselves and into that social guilt, enter the year end charitable drives. While there is nothing wrong with charity drives at Christmas, for some, this is a big source of stress.

I admit I am one who has a hard time with confrontation and saying no. If a charity collector is able to talk to me, I feel even guiltier about not giving. But our family budgets specifically for charitable donations so that we don't fall into the trap of donating to everyone. We prefer to donate a larger amount to one or two charities rather than a few dollars to everyone.

So what can you do to avoid the guilt? Try my SANTA method:

Set up your holiday giving in advance. If you haven't already budgeted for charitable donations, sit down with your family and decide to what charities you will give and how much. It not only helps you visualize where the money is, but also lets you control what causes you wish to fund. There are many wonderful charities, but researching them can help you understand them better. You may be surprised to find out how much overhead some charities have.

Allow for extras. Sometimes things come up and you want to give impulsively. My daughter loves to put coins in the Salvation Army bell ringer's bucket. My husband helps out local food pantries. I have donated toys in the Toys for Tots drive. Allowing for that will keep your pocketbook from coming up dry.

Never let them guilt you. Charity collectors often use guilt to encourage wallet openings. "Just $10.00 can keep this child from going hungry." It doesn't sound like a lot of money to us, so we give. But how much of that $10 actually made it into that starving child's hand? Many times, charity collectors are paid a very handsome stipend for their work.

Take a step back. When approached, try to take a step back mentally. There are very worthy causes. Is this one you want to give your extra contribution to? If not, politely say, "We have already set aside our charitable donations." And leave it at that. Most solicitors will respect that and push no further. But if they do continue to push, politely say goodbye and move on. You are not obligated to continue listening.

Associate with the charity. Or, in other words, donate your time instead of your money. If you are able, ask if you can get involved. Sort and price clothing for the Salvation Army store, wrap gifts at the mall for diabetes research, organize the Food Pantry, et cetera.

So relax and try the SANTA method. Life is full and too short to spend feeling guilty. Happy Holidays and happy giving!