Holiday Inn Express, a Smart Stay, but My IQ Seems to Be the Same

On my way home from Atlanta Georgia, this week, a friend and I decided to stay at the Holiday Inn Express in Jasper, Alabama.

After spending several days in a Comfort Inn, which was comfortable, this one night stay was also comfortable and I looked forward to my increased knowledge that I was all but guaranteed to experience the next day.

You know the commercials suggests that if you stay at a Holiday Inn Express, you can all but perform brain surgery the next day.

Well first of all, I think we were smart to select the hotel.

After checking in, we were given a cookie and a bottle of water.

I thought this must be the brain food they feed you to increase your IQ.

I demonstrated my need of an intelligence boost immediately when I attempted to enter the wrong room.

After realizing my not so smart mistake, we made our way to the correct room. It was spacious and each bed had four pillows, two hard and two soft. I figured the hard pillows were for hard heads that refused to believe they would be smarter in a few hours.

The bathroom was pretty standard and stocked with the usual necessary items and several different types of coffee.

I became a little concerned with the outlet that the lights were plugged into.

It seemed to be a little touchy like it was thinking about shorting out.

I decided that if did short out, maybe it would happen after I soak up some Holiday Inn intelligence and then I would be able to fix it before a major fire.

We also noticed that the trim around the bottom of the wall seemed to be incomplete, like it was a work in progress.

I chalked it up as a someone may have been practicing a new found talent acquired from staying at the Holiday Inn Express, but ran out of time and had to check out before completing the job.

Time for lights out came and I even had intelligent dreams.

One dream suggested I leave the journalism world and go back to Wal-Mart where at least I would have a profit sharing plan.

Another dream suggested that I buy stock for $15 a share and that it would quickly climb to $1,100 a share. If only I were smart enough to recall which stock it was.

Finally day break came. After taking a shower I ventured out of the room to experience my new found intelligence.

I grabbed breakfast provided by the hotel that consisted of omelets, bagels, juice and milk.

I then decided to use the hotel computer to check my Facebook account.

Well since I was logging in from an unknown location, I had to pass a security quiz which included photos posted by my Facebook friends.

Well as you may know, most are not real close friends with many of their Facebook friends. Most are old high school mates you haven't seen in person in 20 years.

Well I had no fear, I had just spent the night at a Holiday Inn Express, I should be able to pass this test. Wrong! I failed.

I finally got it right on my second try.

Then it was time to pack up and hit the road.

The first smart thing I did was clunk my head on my trunk lid.

So far I was off to a real smart start.

Eventually it was on the road again, destination Tupelo, Mississippi.

With the help of Gertrude the Garmin, we arrived at Elvis' birthplace with little problems.

Left there and headed to Memphis, Tennessee. There I exercised my intelligence and spent $20 on a lottery ticket which turned out to be a bust.

So far I was still making the same the stupid mistakes that I did before staying at the Holiday Inn Express.

Then while crossing the Mississippi River in Memphis, I realized I was behind a rock truck and that I should switch lanes before it showered my vehicle with rocks. The windshield had already been cracked on this trip.

Well it was a smart thought but I didn't follow through and the rock shower began.

At least I was smart enough to know what to do, I just didn't do it in time.

After making it to Arkansas, I experienced a trooper entering the highway, and like a pace car leading the pack around Daytona, vehicles lined up behind him.

Thanks to my stay at the Holiday Inn Express, I was smart enough not to pass him and I did not get a ticket. This was a mistake I had made earlier in the year.

So in conclusion, staying at a Holiday Inn Express, didn't seem to increase my IQ all that much but if need be I would stay there again and give it another try.