Holiday Memory: The Pretty White Blouse

It was Christmas, around 1963. I would have been eight and my cousin, Sandy, was a couple of years older than me. As tradition goes, we were all gathered at Grandma and Grandpa's house...aunts, uncles, cousins...all squeezed into the living room with a myriad of festive decorations and brightly wrapped gifts. It was, of course, mass confusion. Gifts were sorted and passed around, leaving everyone with a pile to unwrap.

I don't remember a lot from that day, but I do remember sitting not too far from Sandy and watching her open her gift from Grandma and Grandpa. As she tore the ribbon from the package and ripped the paper off, she revealed a plain white gift box. It was gently lined with white tissue paper, folded over on each side to protect the precious contents. Sandy unfolded the tissue to reveal the most beautiful white blouse I had ever seen in my whole life! Sandy squealed with delight and held the blouse up in front of her for all to see.

I remember secretly hoping that Grandma had bought two of those beautiful blouses when she was at the store. I had never seen anything so lovely, and had certainly never owned anything that nice. I quickly dug through my pile of gifts in search of the one that said "To: Pam ..... Merry Christmas, Grandma and Grandpa". There it was! The package was much longer and a little thinner. I knew it was hard to find suitable boxes for wrapping ... especially when there are so many gifts to wrap. I was sure my box held the same thoughtful gift as Sandy's. With childish anticipation, I slipped the green ribbon over the corner of the package, and tore the colorful paper off the box. The box I had uncovered was not white, and it was somewhat tattered around the edges. My box was not lined with soft, gently folded tissue paper, and it did not hold a beautiful white blouse. It held the contents of an old game. I can't even remember what game it was. In fact, I can't remember anything else I got for Christmas that year. I do remember that the game had already been used many, many times. It was obvious that other children had loved that game, and had played it over and over again, someone always winning and someone always losing. The game board and pieces had been in and out of that box so many times that a few of the pieces were missing....probably lost under a couch somewhere, or batted away by a playful kitten. Despite my disappointment, I managed to catch Grandma's attention and tell her "thank you". She smiled back and said "you're welcome".

On the way home on that wintry day, my family enjoyed all the sights of the season. We were always on the lookout for bright, colorful strings of lights buried under blankets of snow on the bushes. We talked about the holiday decorations, the weather, the upcoming school concert, and the annual church program. Everyone shared stories about the gifts they had received. I gallantly told everyone about the game I got from Grandma and Grandpa, and how much fun it would be. I never breathed a word about Sandy's beautiful white blouse.

Several months later, I overheard a conversation. It seems that my Grandmother had a formula of sorts for buying gifts. To be "fair" she felt it was important to spend the same amount of money on each family. My cousin Sandy had one brother. At the time, I had one brother...and three sisters.

The funny thing is that I never had ill feelings about the gift, or toward my Grandmother. I never played the game, and never again did I hope to receive a beautiful white blouse. I learned a lesson in life though ... and I had a memory that would last a lifetime.