Holiday Sale

"F**K You!" "S**T Head!"
"Quiet!" Yelled Beth.
"F**K You. F**K You!" Daisy and Duke screeched back at her then crashed around in their large steel cage. The parrots lived in the far corner of the bright sunlit living room. Their bright green and blue feathers flew in a cloud along with their birdseed and settled on her just swept wooden floors. Beth grimaced. She did not want to think about having to pull out the vacuum cleaner.

She shifted her gaze away from the computer screen and referred to the notepad on her desk. She had changed this new draft four times already and had vowed this was the last time she was going to change a word. She had to finish this second ad, as the first hadn't work. All this because her neighbors had demanded that she find another home for the parrots or move. The deadline was before Christmas and it was December 22nd.

"How's it going?" called John. "Have you finished yet?"
"I'm stuck on whether I should include my name or not." Groaned Beth as she read what she had written.
She played with a strand of her long reddish blonde hair, rolling it up and down her long fingers. John Farrow walked up behind her quietly in his stocking feet and kissed her quickly on her neck. Beth smiled as he leaned over her to read the ad.

"I don't think you have to," he said. "You already have the phone number. I don't think you need anything else."
"No, I feel like I'm missing something."
"What?"
"I don't know. Like I should say why I'm selling them, maybe?" "You definitely can't do that." John chuckled. His laughter deepened as she glared up at him but vanished as she met his eyes. Meeting his eyes. She looked back at the computer and leaned back in her chair. "You're right," she said. "I can't write that."

Beth frowned and bit her bottom lip as she read.
John Farrow and Beth Benis had been friends for five years and lovers for two. Enough time for him to learn how to read her emotions and this wasn't good. She was obviously more upset than she was letting on. He took a deep breath and cocked his head and asked the inevitable question. "How are you going to hide the fact the birds curse?"

"I was thinking, I would sedate the parrots with cough syrup or peppermint snaps when the time comes." Beth said.
"Wouldn't that hurt them?" He said. A smirk played on his full lips.
Beth lifted her head and met his eyes.
"I don't think I care for your rationale, Mr. Farrow." She replied. John stared down at her.
Beth's pretty face dimpled with a smile she tried to hide.
"No, seriously, what am I going to do?" she laughed. Her deep-set blue eyes shone in the bright sunlight giving off a halo glow to her whole face. He smiled as his thoughts returned to last nights lovemaking.

"Maybe you can find a deaf person to take them." He said over her shoulder. He reread the ad again as his long thin fingers combed back the mop of sandy blond hair on his head. He tried to think of someone he would know who would buy the obnoxious parrots.

"Or maybe a pirate." He laughed.
"Would you be serious!" She said and looked over her shoulder.
"I'm being serious," John. "I'm trying to help!" His laughter reduced to giggles.
"Oh, yeah. You're really helping by making jokes." Said Beth.
"Why don't you just give the birds back to your old boyfriend, what's his name?" John said. "Wasn't he the one who had taught them how to curse?"
"It's Tim!" she said. "And no his new girlfriend doesn't allow him to even curse around her."
"Oh, right."
"I could always take them." He said.
"No, you can't," she replied. "Your condo doesn't allow pets."
"Oh, yeah right." John nodded.

She was thoughtful as Duke and Daisy let out another scream.
"F**K You, S**T Head, F**k!" The parrots hooked they're long beaks around the steel cage and glared at her.
Beth gave them a dirty look, and they screamed louder.
"Shut up or I'll carve you up for Christmas dinner," Beth shouted. "God, I can't wait to be rid of them."
F**k You, F**K You!" The parrots chimed. She shouted at the birds one last time as she went to answer the door. John sank into the now vacated chair and read the ad.
"Yes?" Beth answered. John heard women voices echoing in the hallway. He recognized Beth's only nice neighbor Mrs. Urbanek.

Beth's face suddenly appeared around the large door.
"Cover the birds." She mouthed.
John Jumped up from his chair and covered the cage with a thick white cloth.
"F**king Hell!" Chirped Daisy and Duke in protest.
Beth nodded and opened the door wider.
"Mrs. Urbanek," smiled Beth cordially. "How can I help you?" The women smiled as they
entered. A tall honey blond woman wearing a silk white blouse, and slinky black skirt stepped forward
ahead of the other woman.
"I'd like you to meet, Mrs. Michelle Griffin," said Mrs. Urbanek." "She's interested in purchasing the
birds."

"Really?" answered Beth. She shifted her eyes to look at the conservatively suited brunette,
with the perfect hairstyle. She did not look to Beth like someone who would want them. She met John's
eyes and could tell he was thinking the same.
"Um, has Mrs. Urbanek, told you anything about the birds, Mrs. Griffin?" asked Beth.
"Yes. And, I think they will be a great companion for my grandfather," she answered. "He lives in an old
sailors retirement home, in Maine."

"Sold!" Shouted Beth.
"Really?" Mrs. Griffin said. Her bright blue eyes beamed happily.
"Yes," said John. "I know they will be happy with your grandfather." Mrs. Griffin smiled and nodded.
Mrs. Griffin followed Beth and John behind the couch to get the Parrots.
"I know he will love them just as much as you've had." Mrs. Griffin said.
John shot a look at Beth and smirked back at her.

"Please, let me get the cage for you." John said. "It's heavy."
"Thank you." Mrs. Griffin replied.
John lifted the cage slowly from its tall stand, and happily held it as Mrs. Griffin handed Beth the
money.

"Thank you, so much," Mrs. Griffin's face beamed. "And happy Holidays."
"Happy Holidays." John and Beth chimed. They returned her smile. John walked out with Mrs. Griffin
and Mrs. Urbanek out to the hallway.
"I'm going to walk Mrs. Griffin to her car." He said. "I'll be right back."
"Hurry back, so we can celebrate our victory." Beth whispered. John's handsome face lit up as he walked
the ladies quickly down the hall. Beth waved the ladies off with a huge smile on her face.
"Who would have thought they would be sold to a retirement home for old sailors!" Beth chuckled. She
let out a huge sigh of relief as she closed her apartment door.

The End
Joanna E. Lopez, 2003.

*Again, no Parrots were harmed in writing this story. Also, I hope you weren't offened by the cursing.