Holidays, Kids and Community

Halloween has arrived. That two-month long obstacle course known as the Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Christmas holiday season is about to begin. Some of us will go willingly - proudly sporting our elf hats until it's time for a New Year's Eve top hat. Others of us will channel Ebenezer - grudgingly suffering the store displays, TV commercials and catalog mailings until it's all mercifully over.

Either way, we all seem to share two things in common when it comes to the holidays. First, we can't escape the childhood memories - for good or bad, and no matter how old we get. And second, we all wish this year's experience could be less commercial and more meaningful, especially for the children in our lives.

Here are a few suggestions from my own family and friends. They're meant not only to give you some "at home" holiday time with the children you love, but to help inaugurate some traditions that don't necessarily include price tags and shiny lights.

FOOD DONATION WITH A TWIST. Stock up on extra non-perishables - - ask the local food kitchen what they'd appreciate most. Pick up stickers, construction paper and drawing supplies (plus a large, inexpensive poster frame*). Make paper strips in suitable sizes for cans or boxes and have children color, marker or paint them before taping onto the items. Or just place stickers directly on the food labels. SUGGESTIONS: (1) Spend Veteran's Day Holiday decorating. (2) DO NOT REMOVE original labels, as kitchen volunteers don't want to guess whether they have peaches or beans. (3) *Donate poster frame - our kitchen wanted to save and display the children's artwork.

TOY PURGE & PIC. Go through outgrown items WITH your children. They may not want to part with old friends, but you can make it easier. My neighbor took pictures of her kids with the donation items, framed them with captions like "Adam's got a big HEART" or "Sarah plays SANTA," and then she hung them where her munchkins could proudly explain what they meant. SUGGESTIONS: (1) Use only clean, "like new" items. (2) Don't wrap unless recipient agency allows it. (3) Put items in tote bags or open boxes decorated by your kids instead.

HELP SERVE A MEAL. This is an age-appropriate one, especially for teenagers with ipod implants in their ears and expensive holiday wish lists in their pockets. From personal experience, I appreciate the fact that my mother didn't drop me off at a soup kitchen my first time out. She went the synagogue/church route instead. My friends were from mixed faiths, and at age 15, none of us was particularly devout. But we ended up volunteering at each other's places of worship - at least for our respective holiday supper celebrations. We found familiar faces, comfortable conversation, and the opportunity to learn about each other's religions - not to mention an excuse to be seen in public with our families. Volunteering to serve complete strangers became easier after that.

CRAFTY KIDS. Craft fairs abound before the holidays, and this is a perennial favorite two of my buddies approach in different ways. (1) One of my friends sets a budget with her son Aidan, makes a list of people to buy for, and then sets him loose with a fistful of dollars. The goal, of course, is to teach thoughtfulness, planning and frugality. If the child is old enough, they can handle their money themselves. The benefit of physically counting and handing over cash can be lost when a parent makes all the exchanges, plus - separate funds mean Mom's purse or Dad's wallet are off limits! (2) The other approach is from BEHIND the craft table. My friend Emma sells holiday cookie ornaments at craft fairs and she takes her daughter Amanda along. Part of Emma's booth space is dedicated to "children only," and her daughter makes all the items. Over the years, the items have become more sophisticated, but Amanda continues to enjoy it, and her mother believes it's taught her how to value her time and creativity.

RAP & WRAP. One of our local Girl Scout Troops fulfilled its holiday community service goal by partnering with a group of residents from an Assisted Living Center. The plan had three phases, but each one could be an isolated project on its own. FIRST, the girls met the older group in the Activities Room at the Center, and offered advice on what the "cool" gifts might be for the children in their lives. They brought pictures, descriptions and pricing info from catalogs, newspaper inserts and the internet - some of them brought their own favorites along as tangible examples. SECOND, the girls actually did some shopping for those residents who were unable to do it themselves. (This part can be tricky, but a monetary exchange can be avoided in several ways, one of which is having the Center members order gifts exclusively from a few catalogs with payment resolution decided solely by their group). THIRD, the girls returned to the Center for the actual Rap & Wrap. The Troop and the Center provided the wrapping supplies and the snacks, and the conversation "rap" seemed to occur naturally while talking about the children who'd be receiving the gifts. SUGGESTION: Offer to pick up a variety of holiday cards and/or collect postage funds for a group in an assisted living facility, a nursing home, or a hospital and donate them.

YOU CAN HELP. This last one is something our local AM radio station does every year, and it's a unique way to collect food donations. The station's morning drive host does a "remote broadcast" from our local park, where donations of canned foods, pastas, peanut butter, etc. are dropped off and laid side by side - or end to end - along the paved walking path. The goal is always to surpass the previous year's collection by as many feet as possible. Watching the food accumulate and hearing the live broadcast of people being interviewed as they drop off their bags and boxes of donations has become a community tradition. (And you get to spend some time at the park).

This is my small list of alternative ways to spend holiday time. There are so many ideas out there! I just wanted to share these few because, when the tape dispenser runs out during mid-gift wrapping, or when the "perfect gift" I found for my nephew is back-ordered until mid-March, or when my boyfriend needs help shopping on December 24th, it's the memories of these things that keep me from losing my little holiday mind and permanently joining the ranks of the Scrooged!