Hollywood Brett Favre Needs to Go Away

Zac's note: This piece was written less than 24 hours before Favre announced that, shockingly, he may actually return. Now Favre is actually impacting my work life. Look for the edits that have been made since Tuesday's original piece.

I hope Brett Favre gets inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame immediately after taking his last snap; so I'll never have to see the guy on my television again.

My Hollywood Brett Favre rant was posted just a little under twelve months ago, and there's no reason to replay, repost or relive a similar piece. Instead, I pose a question to readers, Brett Favre fans, NFL fans and humanity, in general. Who could possibly cheer for Brett Favre anymore or care about another Brett Favre retirement story?

Honestly.

The funniest thing to happen in the sports world in 2010 is the reaction of ESPN and other sports and news outlets around the country once news of Favre's "retirement" hit. About once every minute or so, Chris Mortensen, Herm Edwards and other analysts and Sportscenter anchors were quick to remind viewers that the news of Brett Favre's impending retirement had not been confirmed by the Vikings or Favre. Even these guys don't really believe Favre is gone for good.

My favorite part about this year's edition of Favre-gate may be the Brett Favre retirement tribute that aired on ESPN 2 all Tuesday night. The Worldwide Leader must feel pretty special right about now. The company will probably be airing Brett Favre look-back specials every August for the next 20 years until the Randy the Ram of football bites it on the field. As this rate, that's the only way Favre actually leaves the game.

You can't even use the "I'll believe it when the ink is placed on the retirement papers" joke when talking about Favre. 2010 might be Favre's "Roger Clemens" season, where Favre decides he wants to play again after week eight of the season. Any Brett Favre "retirement" cannot be taken seriously. Why should it?

Looks like all of the doubters were right. Mr. "I don't want to go to training camp" will, as expected, play in 2010 if he is "healthy enough." Who is Favre kidding? Once again he has put the screws to an NFL franchise in order to appease the most massive ego in professional sports. If Favre decides next week that he isn't healthy (is too old), the Vikings will be left wondering "what if" for the rest of the fall and winter. Had Favre actually done the right thing and retired like a normal athlete does, during the offseason, the Minnesota Vikings would have had the option of drafting or signing a quarterback. Are Donovan McNabb, Marc Bulger, Jason Campbell, Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn and even possibly Ben Roethlisberger all better options than Tavaris Jackson? Minnesota Vikings fans on Twitter and other social networking websites seem to think so. A good friend and die hard Vikes fan is none too happy with Hollywood Brett Favre. "Hope he suffocates on a pair of Wranglers," my buddy texted.

You should see his reaction now. Somebody may have to stop him from boarding a plane to Minnesota.

And to those hopeless Favre supporters using the tired analogy; no, you cannot compare Brett Favre to Michael Jordan. Jordan didn't jerk the Chicago Bulls around and eventually play for the Indiana Pacers or New York Knicks. Nobody who thinks of MJ remembers his last years playing with the Wizards. Favre has done more than just tarnish his legacy. He's turned himself into one of the easiest football players to hate in recent history.

Due to his actions over the past couple of years, I actually want to remember Favre for each of his faults. I cackle when I think of the interception that sent the New York Giants to the Super Bowl. My anger grows each time I think about Favre costing the New York Jets the playoffs the following season. Karma is a funny thing, though, and it looks like Favre's last pass will be an interception thrown in an NFC Championship Game hopefully be an interception that costs the Vikings a playoff spot and $20 million.

I wanted to end this piece with some emphatic statement, but then I realized it just doesn't matter that much. Chances are we haven't seen the last of Brett Favre in the NFL. Knowing when to walk away is a truly admirable trait, one Favre obviously wasn't blessed with.

Just go away, Brett, while some people still actually care. I'm going to sit here and try to fathom why they do.

For more: Follow NYGExaminer on Twitter