Home Alone at Last

Some of my regular readers might recall that in the middle of February, we had a phone call from my wife's daughter to say that her Dad had kicked them out and could they come stay with us. You can read about this HERE.

The story continues HERE as they look to be staying with us long term.

This is an update on life as we know it, since today is a monumental day, and one that will see a roller coaster of emotions all round.

To recap on the situation, my wife's eldest daughter married a South African, who when he first arrived in the UK almost 10 years ago, overstayed his visa. Despite their having been married for 5 years, and now having a 10 month old baby, he has not been able to obtain a visa to legally stay here, which is preventing him from working.

Furthermore, due to an injury sustained at work, my wife's daughter has been out of work and waiting for a claim to come through from the company that she worked for. Being pregnant she also could not work for a while, and so they moved in with my wife's ex husband, since the council flat (city provided apartment) that they were living in was full of mould and other infestation, plus it was in a bad area.

My wife's daughter could also not claim any benefits, since she is married, but since her husband doesn't have a work permit, he can't claim benefits himself, and so they are caught on the wrong side of a flaw in the benefits system, and have been struggling to cope.

So they moved in with us in mid February, with the baby, and two dogs, both heavy smokers, and although it's been nice for Debbie to see her grandson, our house is only tiny, and we had barely moved in ourselves 4 months before that, so at times we have felt more like guests in our own home.

Since all attempts to get a visa failed, they finally decided to move back to South Africa, since my son-in-law's family are all there, and it will be easy for my wife's daughter to get a resident's visa there too.

Over the last month the plans have gradually been coming together, with the dogs having both been found good homes, passports arranged for the baby, and finally at the end of last week they were able to book a flight.

Of course life with us is never simple, so with the Football World Cup (I refuse to call it soccer) only weeks away, any flight after 5th June is either full or priced out of their range. So, their only option was to find a flight that left London as soon as possible, and today is the day that they leave to begin their new life.

It will be better for them in so many ways in South Africa, since the family has an apartment next to a private beach, and can help them to find work over there. With the nicer weather, the beach, and more space to move around, it should be a far better place for a boy to grow up than in England, so we wish them well and hope that everything works out.

The roller coaster ride of emotions will now begin though, since although we will now have our house back as from tonight, and will be free to do what we want to do, Debbie is going to miss them terribly, especially her grandson, and I don't think that this has really hit completely just yet. So I expect the next few days to be really difficult, as we learn to adapt to a normal life again.

There is no time to relax though, since in our living room we have an old 2-seater couch and armchair, both hand-me-downs, which need to go out, and with the money that we received from wedding guests we purchased 2 nice new couches to replace them. The furniture is due to arrive early next week, but in the meantime we need to get rid of the old chairs, and to have the carpet professionally cleaned.

The carpet was new when we moved in last October, but it's not a colour that we would choose, and it shows the dirt badly. With two dogs and a baby dropping food everywhere, plus moving in on a rainy day, the carpet needs a serious cleaning, which will have to be done this weekend, before the couches arrive.

Debbie hurt her back 5 weeks ago (gardening plus lifting the baby), and although it's a lot better, she is still not back at work, and moving things around and cleaning the carpet will have to fall mostly to me.

So on a weekend when we would both like to sit back and go "phew!", we can't, because there is so much that needs doing.

To make matters even more complicated, the washing machine packed up last week, and so next Wednesday a new one is being delivered, so we are having to do washing in the kitchen sink, and to manage as best as we can until it comes in.

Keep your fingers crossed that in the next week we managed to get rid of the old couches, get the carpets cleaned, the new couches in, and the new washing machine in. Then, with a bit of luck, we will be able to relax next weekend.

My cousin's husband also passed away on Monday after a long illness, and so we are expecting the funeral to be next week as well. It's sad that the only time you get to see family is weddings and funerals, and we were so pleased that he was able to come to our wedding just a few weeks ago.

I wish things just didn't have to be so complicated. I think on my headstone I ought to have inscribed "I Only Wanted A Simple Life".