Home Alone-Tips to Help Ensure Your Child is Ready to Be Left Alone

How old should a child be before he or she is allowed to stay home alone? This is a question every parent faces sooner or later. And, unfortunately, there is no exact age that one can throw out there as the correct answer. Of course, you wouldn't leave a two year old home alone or even a five year old. But what about an eight year old or a ten year old? What age is old enough? This question is just one of the many that parents have to deal with based on their own judgments.

Children develop both physically and mentally at different rates. Even in the same family, children are often completely opposite each other. One may have been mature and trustworthy at age eight, while another may still not be as a teenager. No two are alike. Often even identical twins have completely different personalities. So how does a parent make the decision of when a child is old enough to stay home alone?

It's not an easy decision. It is one that many parents delay as long as possible. They will often imagine all kinds of disasters and accidents that could take place. They are not sure how their child would handle an emergency. So they stall, putting it off as long as possible. But sooner or later, that first time comes when you have to run to the store and your child wants to stay home. He or she has homework to finish, or is watching a favorite show and doesn't want to leave. "You'll only be gone thirty minutes," he argues logically with you. "I'll be fine."

So you relent after firing off the old warnings like "Lock the door behind me" and "Don't let anyone in." Still, you are a nervous wreck until you get back home.

But there are ways to help both you and your child learn to cope with this new show of independence on their part and trust on your part. It will make it a lot easier on both of you if you feel your child is prepared for those times he or she will be home alone. There are some necessary precautions parents can take to help reduce their anxiety about leaving a child alone.

First, you should make sure that your child has at least two reliable adults that he or she can reach quickly. This should be someone close by like a neighbor or a grandparent that lives nearby. Be sure to talk to the people and let them know that they are emergency contacts for your child. Your child should memorize their phone numbers. Make sure your child understands that if they have a problem of any kind, they can call these people. You will want two contacts in case one should happen to not be home. If your child should have any serious allergies or medical condition, make sure the contacts know where the medicine is kept for it.

Make sure your child knows your correct street address. With the 911 system, most addresses show up on the system, but your child should know it just in case. Your child should also know how to get in touch with either or both parents. They should know where the parents work and have a phone number for them.

Talk to your child about the things that could happen while they are home alone. They need to know about not opening the door to strangers or letting callers know they are home alone. Instruct them to tell callers that their parents can't come to the phone, but will call them right back. Stress to them the importance of not telling people that they are home alone at certain times, for example, for an hour after school.

Some dangers are more obvious than others. Children should know that they are not to go swimming unless an adult is home. They should be warned about cooking or using knives.

Make a list of any rules that apply. For example, if the child is to do his homework before watching television or is to only have a small snack before dinner, make sure they know that you expect them to follow your rules. Let he or she know that you are trusting them to follow those rules. And that if they don't follow the rules, their independence could be a short lived one.

Begin gradually by leaving the child for thirty minutes, then increasing the time. This will give you time to cope with the worry and sense of guilt and allow them time to adjust to being alone in the house. Some children may find this frightening. They may imagine noises. Don't laugh at their fears. If, for instant, they tell you they keep hearing a noise in the attic, check it out together. More than likely, the noise was there all along, but the child did not pay attention to it when an adult was home. It may be a tree brushing against the side of the house or the furnace kicking off and on.

Most children will take the responsibility of staying home alone seriously. It gives them a feeling of independence that will help them be stronger all through life. It will nourish their self-reliance and self-esteem to know that their parents trust them enough to leave them home alone.