Home Weddings: Event-Planning Tips for Your Self-Prepared Special Day

A home wedding may be planned because there is a limited budget available, or because a small wedding is desired, and it doesn't warrant a big church and reception hall. Whatever the reason, a home wedding can be just as formal or casual as desired. No matter what style of wedding is planned, it can still be overwhelming to take on by yourself.

Even with home weddings, a wedding planner is available. If this is an option, much of the stress can be alleviated by putting someone else in charge. However, if you've chosen to go it on your own, there are ways to produce a beautiful event and still be composed enough on the wedding day to enjoy yourself.

Step 1. Recruiting Help

Just because you're planning and executing your own home wedding doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. Before you even sit down and write out a plan of action, contact family and friends. See who would be available to lend a hand. Start with a notebook with tabs and your address book. Mark the first tab as "helping hands." As you call possible recruits, ask these questions and keep notes of their answers:

* What days and dates would they be available to help (and hours)?

*What projects are they willing to do or what are they best suited for?

*Would they be willing to help out the day before, the day of or the day after the wedding?

List their name and phone number and the answer to these questions. Leave some extra lines after each name for notes and scheduling. As you confirm placement of your helpers, use a different color pen (red perhaps) to see at a glance who is doing what. Soon you will have your set up, serving, decorating and clean-up crews in place.

Step 2. Guest List

How many people will you invite? Start with a list of "absolute" guests and a second list for "maybes." The size of the guest list will depend on the amount of space available. Unless it will be a very, very small wedding or you have a large home with one enormous room in which you can fit everyone, the backyard will be the location of the event. So, consider the size of the yard and how many people can comfortably mingle and move around. Don't forget that you will have the marriage ceremony, seating, buffet and eating tables that must be considered.

Step 3. Wedding Style

Will your wedding be formal with a long white dress, tuxedos, bridesmaids and sparkling wine? Or, will it be a backyard barbeque with attire ranging in the area of t-shirts and sandals. Theme weddings are very popular for home weddings. You might consider a luau wedding, a beach themed wedding or even your favorite movie or music band as a theme.

Once you have your wedding style pinned down, you will start to see everything falling into place because you have a formulated direction. Every decision you make, regarding the wedding, from this point, will be decided upon by the wedding style you've chosen.

Step 4. Invitations and Flowers

You have your guest list and you know your wedding style, now it's time to get your invitations out. If it is a formal wedding you will have already wanted to set up a store registry for gifts so that you can mention it in the invitation. You will want the invitation to match the wedding style. For formal weddings, a conservatively printed card with an RSVP return is the choice.

If a friend or family member is into making their own cards, now is the time to recruit your first helper. Put him or her in charge of this project. Once the two of you have designed the invitation, chosen the paper and envelopes, she can get busy making the first draft. Once the card is exactly as you want, take it to the printer who can also cut and fold the cards for you. Get these invitation out as soon as possible. Guests will need to plan for the special day, especially out-of-towners.

If you will have fresh flowers, order them with plenty of time to spare. Some brides just have fresh flowers for their bouquet and use potted flowers or silk flowers for outdoor decoration.

Step 5. Bride and Groom

You'll want your attire to match the wedding style. If it's formal with bridesmaids and groomsman, the earlier you get everyone on the same page for shopping expeditions the better. If it's informal with just the bride and groom in the wedding party, she can still have a white dress. However, a dress full of lace and beading may not feel appropriate, so always keep that theme in mind.

Will you be writing your vows or go with traditional ones? If your writing them, now is the time to start working on them. It may take a while for some, so start early and perfect it. After all, it's a once in a life time event.

It is traditional for the bride and groom to give each other a small token gift for the occasion. And it's just a really nice keepsake. Try to think of something that will last through the years and be very special and different. It could be a birthstone pendent or an engraved watch.

Step 6. Menu

Will the reception just include wedding cake and punch or will it be a full buffet with champaign? The wedding cake should have it's own table. A sturdy round card table will work fine with a tablecloth to match the theme. When the bride and groom cut the cake you will want them to be the center of attention and a clear view for the photographer. A separate table allows that. If the wedding cake is to be ordered, you will need to choose a bakery and go down to pick a cake. Sometimes people have an excellent baker in the family or circle of friends that is willing to take on the task of baking a cake.

You will also want to have some favors for your guests to take home with them as a thank you for their attendance. It's nice if you can come up with something different instead of the same old white almonds in netting. Even the candy bar is getting to be a little average and expected now that so many weddings have used the idea. Here are some unusual ideas you might consider:

* Cookie Bar: Gather your recruited helpers and have them each bake a batch of their favorite cookies the day before the wedding. Display them on a separate table in the location where guests will be leaving. Print a nice sign that displays your gratitude for their attendance and ask them to help themselves with some cookies to take home. Make sure to supply small paper bags. Or, a single large cookie in a cellophane bag, tied with a satin ribbon. Type a repeated sentiment on your computer, cut them into strips, use a heart punch on one end and run it through the ribbon before tying.

* Printed MnMs: Order MnMs with what ever saying you would like or with the names of the bride and groom. Put the candies in condiment cups and cut netting to pull up over them, tied with a satin bow.

* Flower Seeds: For a spring wedding order one kind of flower seed in bulk (daisies, black eyed susans, wild flower mix). Purchase small colored envelopes. Type thank you sentiments mentioning the envelope contents.

Get down to business with planning the wedding dinner menu. You will need appetizers, entrée, side dishes, salads and beverages (the wedding cake is the dessert). Catering is wonderful if it's in your budget. If so, make arrangements as soon as possible for the date and menu.

If this will be a homemade cuisine affair, again, gather your helpers once you have a firm menu plan. Delegate as much of the cooking as you can. This is also the time to see who is willing to be on kitchen duty to make sure food is kept at the proper temperature and the buffet tables are kept tidy and filled with food.

Outdoor barbeques are becoming quite popular with backyard weddings. Recruit a helper to tend the grill. It could be as simple as hamburgers and hotdogs with all kinds of fixings. Add potato salad, pasta salad and baked beans for a real traditional grilling experience.

Step 7. Décor and Furnishings

Outdoor weddings are risky only because it's difficult to completely predict the whether. Consider renting a large tent for the buffet, cake table and gift table. If it's large enough for table seating, wonderful. If not, consider additional fabric canopies for some of the tables outside. Even if it's sunny, some people's skin are very sensitive and they will appreciate the shaded areas. Always consider a plan "B" in case of rain or wind.

Rent an arch for the ceremony to take place under which can be decorated with fresh or silk flowers. Plan for tablecloths and centerpieces for the eating tables as well as the buffet tables. Will you have separate seating for the ceremony or will the eating tables double for both?

Tip: If you are to choose just one luxury, let it be a professional photographer. You will want beautiful photos, in the years to come, of the wedding event.

Let your theme be your guide. When ever there is a dilemma on choice, most of the time your theme will make the decision.