Homebirth Can Make You a Better Parent

This article is part of my homebirth series. If you are interested in homebirth, I encourage you to look for my other articles. My homebirth series is still in progress, so check back for new articles about homebirth and parenting. I also encourage you to ask questions and offer ideas about what you'd like to see.

Homebirth can make you a better parent because of the myriad options that homebirth starts us on the path of considering.

When women opt to have a homebirth, they are already choosing to think outside the box, for their benefit and the benefit of their baby. They are putting their priorities on themselves and their family.

This thought process alone can strengthen your ability to formulate ideas about how you want to parent and what your options are.

Homebirth midwives tend to advocate a certain type of parenting. They model this with their woman-centered care. They take care of you, thereby taking care of your unborn child and your family.

Many homebirth midwives will only accept patients who intend to breastfeed. They explain why...breastfeeding, particularly in the weeks after the birth, is highly important because it gets your uterus back to good shape, causes contractions that prevent hemorrhage, and helps with post-partum depression. Because medications aren't readily available that would stop a postpartum hemorrhage, breastfeeding does well to prevent this rare complication. Have no fear, midwives know how to stop or prevent this from occuring, and most of them work with a local hospital that they can transport you to if they can't deal with this complication, though hospital transfers after a birth are very rare. Midwives have many tricks up their sleeves to help keep you healthy and preserve your birthing experience.

Homebirth midwives also tend to advocate attachment parenting, and believe in you. They are also very helpful and supportive before and after the birth. It's an example of the difference in mentality. Homebirth midwives believe that you are perfectly capable of delivering your baby safely, and they also firmly believe that you are capable of parenting. They're not nervous about your ability to birth or raise your child, and they make themselves available to answer your questions and bring new ideas to the table to help you in your journey.

Attachment parenting is in the spotlight these days, but no one really clearly defines what it is. Some believe it to be a checklist...co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and baby-wearing, but it's more than that.

Attachment parenting is about putting your child's needs first, and realizing that your child is a unique individual who may not fit well with what you thought you'd be doing as a parent. It's about listening to your child and paying attention to their cues so that you can help them through life in the best way possible.

I had an interesting experience when my 6th child was born. I switched from hospital birth to homebirth, and I found out about attachment parenting.

I ended up having a child who wasn't really high needs, she's just extremely particular. Well, I found out that attachment parenting was very beneficial to what could otherwise have been a volatile relationship, as we fight over who is in charge. Authoritarian parenting, no matter how understanding I was, just wasn't going to work with her, but under the attachment parenting model, she thrived.

I wouldn't even have really known about attachment parenting, if I hadn't had a homebirth. My midwife warmed me up to the idea and introduced me to other parents who were attachment parents. I found the idea very intriguing and my midwife, who was very helpful, got me more information.

Because I was having a homebirth, I thought that I wouldn't have support like I'd gotten in my hospital births, but I was surprised to find that I had more support and help having a homebirth than I'd ever gotten at my hospital births. My midwife hooked me up with parents and local groups that were supportive of attachment parenting, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, and homebirth. Without her, I never would have known that such things were available locally.

The support helped me to understand that when I encountered a parenting problem, I would be able to instinctively turn to myself for answers. The midwife reaffirmed that when I called her 3 days after Boo was born to ask a silly 'new mom' question. She didn't make me feel like I'd bothered her, she told me that everything was fine and that I was doing great.

It felt fabulous to hear that, that I was doing great and she had confidence in me. I wouldn't have gotten such a quick or good response from any doctor. It set me on the path of believing in myself and my ability to parent, and had I not gone with a midwife and had a homebirth, I wouldn't have had months of preparing myself to believe in my abilities.

I'm now more confident in myself as not just a mother, but as a woman. Thanks to my homebirth experience, where I did it all myself, delivered my own baby, made it through labor my way, and got some wonderful pictures. I have more confidence in my ability to know when I or one of my children is sick, how sick we are, and if something needs to be done about it, and thanks to my midwife using herbal and homeopathic remedies, I now have more options when it comes to care for my family.

It also helps me with other problems. If one of my children is having difficulties, I'm very bonded with them so I would know right away. I've learned to rely on mother's intuition, because it hasn't failed me yet. I respect that I have instincts and I should listen to them when making any large decision about the upcoming stages of parenting, like potty training and the like...which are challenges that all parents face. I'm not worried about these things, because I have confidence in myself. It's a nice feeling to have, since I see so many parents who are worried about every little thing and have so little confidence in themselves. I feel like I'm in the minority...but I'm happy to be here, and homebirth was my path to good parenting.