Homeless Doll - Political Indoctrination or Important Social Commentary?

Andrea Peyser New York Post column caught my eye today. As a mother of a 10-year-old girl, anything with American Girl dolls in it is a must read. While I share Ms. Peyser's distaste for the price and often cultish nature of the entire American Girl empire, I was somewhat surprised by the tone of her recent article on new American Girl doll Gwen. Gwen Thompson is part of this year's "Girl of the Year" collection. Each year, for those of you without a daughter between the ages of 4-14, American Girl) introduces a "Girl of the Year" doll. As with all American Girl dolls, these dolls come with a story and many times a collection of one or two friends.

The girl of the year this year is Chrissa and her story is focused on the issue of bullying. In the course of this story we meet two additional dolls, Gwen and Sonali. Gwen is a girl whose father left the family and they are now living out of a car, homeless. Peyser's column quickly highlights the ways in which she believes that this story line for a doll is inappropriate suggesting that it will lead young girls to believe that men are bad and women helpless. She goes on to call doll a tool of political indoctrination although I am unclear as to the political message that parent company Mattel may have been trying to send.

As I mentioned, I have my own set of concerns about the American Girl culture with its overpriced dolls and catalog of accessories, many of which come in around $100 too. Had Peyser led with the irony of a company that hocs $100 dolls promoting awareness of homelessness and economic hardship, she would have earned a loyal follower in me. However in light of her focus on the message behind the doll, I think there are a couple issues that are missing from the discussion.

First of all let's put the issue of a homeless doll in context. While as parents we may be focused on the potential educational or self-esteem value of the doll, most little girls just want a pretty doll with hair to comb and clothes to change. Dolls are for all intensive purposes simply accessories to the role-playing games that girls create. Therefore the focus of most children is on the outward appearance of a doll, not the side story that is often lost in the box. The impact of Gwen's story are in reality not very likely to have the same unconscious influence that an ultra thin, over-sexualized, unrealistically proportioned doll might. The aspects of Gwen which are being called into question are not about her appearance but about a story that many of her owners may never read.

To prove my point I got online at AmericanGirl.com and took a look at the reviews for Gwen. Among the 24 pages of reviews, posted by moms and girls alike, the lowest rating was a 3. Now that may not be surprising, if you assume that most people who truly object would not take time to purchase or even review the doll online. What was interesting to note is that of the reviews available nearly everyone, both positive and negative, focused on the dolls appearance. One girl didn't like how short her bangs were, someone else was disappointed that she didn't have freckles (apparently the actress in the Chrissa movie did). Not one review was concerned that she was homeless.

While I maintain that the girls saving their allowances and writing to Santa for a Gwen doll are not as interested in her story as they are her cute sundress, we must also acknowledge their intelligence. Children are capable of thoughtful discussion about a variety of topics, including a doll that is homeless. And just to be sure I called on my resident American Girl doll expert, my daughter. She and her friends, ages 8-12, love their dolls (yes I have bought them despite my moral opposition to their price). So what did they think about Gwen's story? Turns out, not too much.

Since none of them had actually read the book, although they each own one of dolls in the collection, I filled them in on Gwen's back story. One of the first comments was, "wow, she doesn't look homeless." What a teach moment. An opportunity to talk about the assumptions they have about what it means to be homeless and what the reality is for many families. Ultimately they ended our short conversation feeling more appreciative of their own situations and interested in what they can do to help other homeless children.

And therein lies the bigger issue I have with Peyser's opposition to this doll. When did we decide that our children are not capable or ready to have conversations about real life? There are children living in their car right now and going to my child's middle class suburban school. There are fathers who abandon their families and mothers who can't make ends meet living right around the corner from most of us. I collaborate with a local counseling service that supports a multitude of transitional housing facilities in one of the most affluent counties in the nation. This is a real issue. So why isn't it acceptable for American Girl dolls to reflect that reality?

Too often as parents we allow our own discomfort for certain issues to keep us from talking openly and honestly with our children. This misplaced desire to protect our children from the "real" world does them a great disservice and potentially perpetuates the intolerance and bias that the Chrissa story aimed to address. As a mental health professional who works with children all the time, it seems unlikely to me that the average 8-10 year old is going to assume that men are bad and women are helpless because of this story; certainly my child and her friends didn't. Those are assumptions born out of years of negative experience and bias not one children's story.

I propose that parents see Gwen as an opportunity; a chance to talk with your child about the complexities of homelessness and family dynamics. Some men are mean, and so are some women, let's talk about that. Sometimes life hands you circumstances that you can't handle alone; let's talk about what you do with that. There is no shame in needing assistance, whether it's for a math test or a place to stay till you can recover from economic misfortune. And just because one father abandons his family it doesn't make all men bad, just as one teenager robbing a store doesn't make all adolescents thieves or one white man kidnapping a child doesn't make all white men kidnappers. Individuals make choices and we can't punish groups of people for the mistakes of a few.

There are basic lessons of tolerance, resiliency, and courage that can be learned in exploring this issue. But you have to get based your bias (and the doll's price tag) to get there. More importantly, we as parents have to reclaim our role as the primary influencer in our children's lives. Whether it's a homeless doll, a presidential speech, or the other kids at school, there is no one whose opinion and advice matters more than yours. Regardless of Mattel's intentions, they have given parents an opening to talk about something that is happening to children in this country. As parents it's time to seize the opportunity and act as the role models that our children need most.