Homeschool Provides Better Socialization

One of the many reasons that I chose to homeschool was the issue of socialization. I did not like the influence I saw other children had on their peers. I wanted my children to have more input into their lives than this narrow one. Homeschooling gave us the opportunity to do it differently.

By the time my children had reached the ages they would have been entering public schools, neighborhood peers, many of whom would have been classmates, had already done much of their "socializing" of my children. The children had learned words that I had to help them "unlearn." They also learned such great socialization skills as hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, sticking out one's tongue, etc. when things did not go the way they felt they should.

As I thought about the "great" socialization skills my children were learning, I realized that a child does not learn GOOD socialization from a group of 5-year-olds who know no more than he does about socialization. There had to be a better way and I was determined to find it for my children.

As we progressed in our homeschool adventure, we did find a better way - a much more rounded out socialization education. I introduced my children to people of all age groups, in sizes (not 30 at one time) that the children could interact with and learn from.

They had plenty of time in after school hours with neighborhood children. However, I encouraged the children to be playing in OUR yard where I could be supervising the activities. I watched for attitudes, words and actions that I found inappropriate and I corrected these things in all the children, telling them which things were not acceptable in our yard. This did not keep the children from returning to our yard. In fact, I began to hear them correcting each other on things I had mentioned.

They had time with younger children and babies. We quite often would be caring for children in our home. My children learned the necessity of being gentle with little children. They learned that those younger than themselves often needed assistance and that these little people looked to them as they were older. They learned that these toddlers would always be watching them, copying them. So they learned that they were role models and that it was important to be a GOOD role model. They also learned the gentle handling of babies, the soft voices that babies like, and to be watching out for them at all times.

They learned to handle themselves in larger, mixed groups of children. We participated in activities with other homeschooling families and church and club activities. Here they learned to apply many of the things they learned in our home and our yard. They looked to the older children when they needed assistance, expecting to receive help, which they usually did. They also watched and assisted younger children without giving it much thought, as it had become a habit.

They learned the special joy of making friends with elderly citizens. We visited two small nursing homes on a regular basis. I will never forget the joy of looking into a room and seeing my daughter sitting on the bed with a lady. They were talking about their dolls. My daughter was getting a history lesson as Helen shared about the first doll she ever had and other dolls that came later. Helen was blind and 98 years old, but she and my daughter became special friends. My son who was shy at first enjoyed these days best of our week. He couldn't wait to get to see his friends. I think it was because he could feel the love that came from these folks and how much they looked forward to seeing him.

They learned to talk to adults. I took them everywhere with me. They talked to doctors, dentists, store clerks, librarians and policemen. They learned the courtesy of not interrupting when adults were talking. They learned how to seek information from these people that they needed, as well as how to convey their needs. When we went to the doctor or dentist, I didn't do their explaining for them. I encouraged the adults to talk to the child and they did, though many of them were not accustomed to doing so.

I feel that socialization is a big part of a child's education and I gave much thought and time to it. I feel that my children were much better socialized than most children. They were comfortable when they found themselves in any age grouping. They were able to handle new situations. They did not look to see what their friends were doing, before they decided for themselves what was the proper thing to do. They were leaders instead of mindless followers.

Now that my children are adults, I see them as well-rounded individuals. They are confident, yet courteous. They enjoy meeting new people and interacting with all ages. I watch with joy as they are now teaching these same skills to my grandchildren.