Homeschool Questions and Answers: Holding the Child Back a Grade Level

Q: My homeschooled child appears to be struggling and may not be as mature as other kids in his grade level. I am tempted to hold him back a year. How do I go about that?

A. The beauty of homeschooling is that your child can move forward at his or her own level. There is no shame in this whether they are ahead of the game, or behind academically. For younger children, there is not need to even discuss grade level, so there should be no stigma in pulling back and doing some curriculum again. In doing that, however, be sure to let them move forward in areas where they are doing well.

As the child reaches their high school years, holding them back a year will be more difficult. The child will begin to anticipate graduation date, and an announcement of a change in plans may not be received well.

In my opinion, it is important to let a child know if he is struggling in an area or two. Give them the option of working extra hard in that areas, maybe even through the summer. You can let them know that there is a certain bar they need to pass before you will graduate them, regardless of how long that will take. This bar can be set for academic, social, and emotional skills. This way you put the situation in their hands.

In my personal experience, my child was on track to graduate on time or early academically, but wanted to spend more time enjoying the process. At the same time, as a parent, I was hesitant to graduate him because he was at least a year younger than his peers and it showed in areas of leadership and social skills. In the end, he opted to take an extra year, and instead of becoming a Senior this past year, he had a second Junior year. We are both confident that we made the right decision, and he will graduate and go out into the world, ready, willing, and able to succeed in life.