Homeschooling vs. Public School: Views from a Parent Who Tried Both

There is nothing like the beginning of a public school year. The kids arrive with slicked-down hair, cute little lunch boxes in tow, and their new white sneakers already sporting a couple of dirt marks. They head off to the bus, looking back apprehensively as they board the school bus in a combination of fear, separation anxiety, and plain excitement.

There is also nothing to compare to the beginning of a home school year. You'll crawl out of bed, making sure the kids have pulled on their clothes, fed them breakfast by nine o'clock, and watching them sit at the table in their stocking feet sitting as they await the clearing of the dishes prior to the start of a new school day.

I have participated in both of these scenarios having raised three children into their twenties, and now repeating the process with an eight year old who's half-way through the third grade. My first brood was publicly schooled until the age of fourteen. They were home schooled thereafter. Our eight year old, on the other hand has only known home schooling. So as the parent and now "learning coach", which do I prefer?

In public school, there were classes of 27 to 30 kids. As a parent I would visit the classroom twice a week as a parent aide helping the teacher with assignments and general kid wrangling. I did this for eight years. The teachers were kind and the school curriculum was decent. The problem I encountered with the public school system was the academic inflexibility: They expected every child to do and be the same. I had three creative out-of-the-box thinkers, and even though they were well liked, the teachers never jumped for joy knowing that my children didn't fit into their mold. Each child came home feeling bullied and each one became disinterested in class over time because the curriculum was designed for a certain type of child, and none of my children fit the mold.

We often took spontaneous trips and the children were always chided for leaving for a few days. Their "punishment" was being handed enough "make up" schoolwork for a two week class, when in fact they were never gone for more than a couple of days.

The teachers didn't have time for any one-on-one with any of the students, so if a concept wasn't grasped quickly enough by a student it would have to wait until someone could offer extra help. And the "help" would usually arrive in the form of another pile of homework. And the homework load was already unbelievable for a third grader. I began to suspect that everything the teacher couldn't get done in class was summarily sent home. Who could blame her considering the number of children in the classroom? So our free-spirited children would come home from school, have a snack, and begin homework assignments lasting until bedtime. They soon weren't acting like free-spirited children; they were behaving liked whipped little puppies. When do children ever get to be children in such an equation? That's when I decided to home school.

I suppose there are public schools somewhere that make sure no child gets left behind, but I hadn't experienced them, and I was always shocked to see how many children didn't have any manners and how cliquish they could be.

The best thing I could have done is home school our children.

Times have changed, and so has home schooling. Home schooling isn't just for the old fashioned ruralites, or an opt-out option for fundamentalist religious families. Home schooling has become more popular with charter schools that have bundled schoolwork. The curriculum is organized and easy to follow, and if you're concerned that your child won't get credits for college, no worries. Charter schools are a part of the public system and they keep the same intensive records as the public schools. The home schooled charter kids test just like the public schools, but are taken in recreation rooms at the parks or at the local college.

So what do I like best about home schooling?

My daughter gets individual attention in school. I am right by her side helping her through anything that she doesn't understand. If she is having any problems in math, I am able to work with her one-on-one. Her curriculum is geared to her. She takes electives (like Mythology) for her creative side.

School doesn't take over four hours a day. There is no homework, and because there aren't big groups of students, school takes less time. I see everything that she is being taught and I have an influence in it. If I'm not comfortable with part of the curriculum, I e-mail her teacher and she helps me through the process of adapting the lesson.

Does she miss the social aspect of public school? No; she has friends that she plays with after school where there is no chance of bullying or gossip. Also we never fear the prospect of a school shooting or contact with anyone we don't know which in today's society is a very real concern.

We choose when school takes place. If we are going to a lecture, we bring our little third grader's work with us and she gets to have the wonderful experience of traveling and meeting new people, all while completing her school work as we travel down the road. It couldn't be more perfect. She has the best of both worlds; hands-on learning, and hands-on life experience.

Children are children. They shouldn't be tied down to a desk for six hours a day and then go home to do more school work. They need time to play and enjoy life, all the while learning.

So which do I prefer? Having my child grow up to be a non-stressed, un-pressured human being who loves to learn, and loves to experience life. I believe home schooling provides the building blocks for just that.