Hometown Boys

UNFINISHED PLAY: 2005
HOMETOWN BOYS

A bare stage.

CASSIUS, an overlord, and ATLANTA, a simian, walk together. CASSIUS uses a walking stick but is not infirmed; ATLANTA wears a turban. They each wear identical medallions. CASSIUS is taller and bears the mark of the overlord. They are ageless.

Cassius
(thoughtfully)
An airplane flying overhead today
sounded louder than most.�
�
Atlanta
The snow crystals on the ground may not melt
until Spring.

Cassius
The socks you gave me recently are
uncomfortable; they itch.

Atlanta
The leeches appear sluggish now.

Cassius
Yes.

Atlanta
Yes...

Cassius
(Cheerful, with discovery)
A dog has no soul!

Atlanta
He does; it is elastic.

Cassius
You're a horse's ass.

WIND RISES AND FALLS. THE PLAYERS SIT UPON A PARK BENCH. A BASKETBALL BOUNCES ACROSS THE STAGE. NEITHER PLAYER REACTS.

Cassius
Oddly-suited Amish men ridiculed
my tie on Thursday.

Atlanta
To what avail? Did you protest?

Cassius
I felt it would be....

Atlanta
Of course, you had to expect that, didn't
you?

Cassius
Yes, I suppose.....

Atlanta
And --

Cassius
Listen! Shhhh --

Atlanta
(loudly)
I am tired of listening....

SNOW BEGINS TO FALL. A WOLF HOWLS. A GOAT IS LOWERED FROM ABOVE. IT WEARS A GAUDY NECKTIE AND MUNCHES HAY. CASSIUS WAVES THE GOAT AWAY, AND IT RISES OUT OF SIGHT. ATLANTA SADLY WATCHES THE GOAT RISE.

Atlanta
(Turning to Cassius)
Do you miss the goat? Do you long
to hear his merry bleat?

Cassius
(tolerant)
He bleated not.

Atlanta
(Long pause)
Had he bleated, would it have pleased you?

Cassius
Less than pudding.

Atlanta
Yes...yes, I see...hmmm....
I admire the artful carving of your walking-stick.

Cassius
Many do.

Atlanta
Did you craft -- or carve it yourself?

Cassius
I have told you, no.

THE BLEAT OF A DISTRESSED GOAT IS HEARD. NEITHER PLAYER REACTS. BLEATING STOPS. AN AUDIENCE MEMBER RISES AND THEN SITS BACK DOWN. CYMBALS CLANG. WIND RISES AND FALLS AGAIN. THE PLAYERS RISE AND STROLL IN PLACE.

An audience member in the back row
Speech!

PLAYERS' STROLLING ceases.

Cassius
The cry of leeches again.

Atlanta
Do you say this in sport, or in earnest?

Cassius
Don't be a fool.

Atlanta
Ardent, I strive daily to maint--

Cassius
Oh, stop.

FROM OFFSTAGE IS HEARD A MAN SOBBING, GENTLY AT FIRST, THEN MORE LOUDLY,

Atlanta
Listen! The town crier approaches.

THE TOWN CRIER ENTERS AND CROSSES THE STAGE, BEARING A SMOKING FRANKINCENSE BURNER AND A HEN. HE, TOO, WEARS A MEDALLION. THE PLAYERS WATCH HIM EXIT.

A RAIN OF LOCUSTS ENSUES. THEY ARE DEAD AND UNMOVING. A SMALL EUROPEAN CAR APPEARS BEHIND THE PLAYERS AND STOPS, DIM; LIKE A MIRAGE; ENGINE MAKES COUGHING NOISES, CAR SHUDDERS, BOUNCES, AND EXPLODES IN A HAIL OF FESTIVE, COLORED CONFETTI.

A FATHER and his young SON enter, smoking cigars. They carry and set up a card table down stage right and begin to play poker with chips.

Atlanta
Who are they?

Cassius
Our gallery.....

ATLANTA looks puzzled.

Cassius
Our chorus, no doubt. You see?

The FATHER produces a gold watch from his vest pocket. He swings it on its fob in front of the SON's eyes, as if to hypnotize him.

Atlanta
(whispering)
Is there licorice?

Cassius
(Angry)
Have you no shame? No sense of
decorum? A hypnotism ensues. (Gestures)
And yet you, randomly, simply, choose to blurt
out whatever comes to mind?

Atlanta
Ummm--

Cassius
Do you ever think anything you don't say?

Atlanta
My father once told me--
Cassius
Wherever he may go--

SON skulks to far stage left, and broods. FATHER puts down his cards, sighs, rubs his eyes, and places his head in his hands.

Atlanta
He must have had a good hand--

Cassius
Shhh!
(shakes his head)

LOUD CLANGING OF CYMBALS AGAIN AS CLOWNS, DONKEYS, AND MASQUED LITTLE PEOPLE ENTER STAGE RIGHT. THEY WAG THEIR HEADS AND RAISE THEIR KNEES HIGH, MARCHING AND DANCING IN TIME TO LOUD REGGAE OR CARIBBEAN MUSIC. THE SON APPEARS TO ENJOY THE SPECTACLE AND JOINS THE PARADE. CASSIUS AND ATLANTA RETREAT IN FEAR, WHILE FATHER KEEPS HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS, MISERABLE. MISCELLANEOUS HORNS AND CYMBALS CONTINUE AS MUSIC FADES AND GROUP EXITS STAGE RIGHT, WHILE SON REMAINS AND WATCHES THEM EXIT.

AUDIENCE MOVES TO THEATRE LOBBY WHERE THEY RECEIVE A BRIEF BUT SAFE COURSE IN THE SPORT OF CURLING.

CASSIUS ENTERS LOBBY AND ENTICES AUDIENCE TO RETURN TO SEATS.

intermission