Honesty and the Single Mother

Many single mothers have a good relationship with the father of their children. The lives flow seamlessly, the children are well-adjusted and know they are loved.

I didn't have that good relationship with my ex-husband. As the years went by, my children saw their father less and less. When my daughter was 13, we moved for a business opportunity and he ran away to Mexico.

It was so difficult to get my kids to understand that it was nothing they had done. I tried my best not to bad-mouth their father in my children's presence, often without success.

The year he ran away to Mexico, he didn't even bother to call either of his children on their birthdays. My daughter was inconsolable. It took several days to finally get her to open up as to what was bothering her.

I decided then that it was time they understood the truth about their father. He was a selfish ass. They had done nothing wrong, and only he could figure out what was going on in his own head.

That New Year's Eve, my children and I visited my parents and I went out in our hometown with some friends. After an evening of dancing, we went out for breakfast and there sat my children's father. The realization that he was in town for the holidays and couldn't even bother to see his kids sent me into a silent rage.

I tried to ignore him, but my girlfriend was angry. She had been around my kids so much during the previous few years and knew how much they hurt. She laid into him, the nicest thing she called him being "a rotten father".

That was the first time in a long time I could say he actually acted like a man.

He sat there and took every thing that was said to him - and kept his mouth shut.

All these years later, my children are trying to forge some sort of relationship with their father. It's difficult. They are in their mid-20s, knowing they wouldn't be on this Earth without him. However, any respect for him beyond that will have to be earned.