Hooray for Store-bought Halloween Costumes!
Supermoms
Who scrap together amazing costumes
From socks and pipe cleaners
Ribbon and Dad's old T-shirts
Moth-eaten hats and bathrobes
Spray-paint and curly wigs
Not me.
I could manage a couple of homemade ghost costumes
But, no,
Nobody wants to be a ghost
Why should they?
My daughter can be Cinderella
For $19.95.
My son can be a Clone Trooper
Wear his costume constantly
Shoot foam darts with his
Officially-licensed Star Wars blaster
For the cost of Pizza Hut delivery.
My kids won't win any costume contests
But I just don't care.
I never claimed to be supermom
(Though I always hoped my children would nominate me anyway)
How dare I call myself creative?
Why didn't I learn how to sew?
To prove I'm not a lazy loser
Should I make homemade candy
Cinnamon popcorn balls
Caramel apples
To pass out to trick-or-treaters?
Good parents wouldn't let their kids eat all that
Delicious hard work (hidden razor blades, poison)
Even if I did
So I think I'll stick to
Store-bought candy
Store-bought Halloween costumes--
Thank you, Wal-Mart!
Published by Maria Roth
I love popcorn, cashews, cheesecake, Jane Austen, my husband and children, and Conan O'Brien. Why should you be jealous of me? I am double-jointed in both thumbs, I live in Kansas, I'm tall, and I'm modest... View profile
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7 Comments
Post a CommentThis is almost wistful, Maria. Like it.
Give them a sheet. They are ghosts. There you go...
In the toss-up between sterilized, commercial halloween candy and the sad, though well-intentioned homemade efforts of overzealous grannies - Snickers always triumphs.
Cute and fun! Great poem!
Well, we're not all crafty. I am, but my grandkids want the store-bought costumes. Mom and Dad can pay for them....
The cost of a Pizza Hut delivery, the acid test for costume costs. Makes perfect sense.
Well-put! I don't consider it my life's purpose to sew costumes for kids!