Horrid Hip Hop Lines

In 1970, a young immigrant from Jamaica named DJ Kool Herc created a unique style of deejaying by extending the break beat on a record. His technique of cutting two of the same records to stretch the middle instrumental prompted dancers, later called b-boys, to hit the floor with a series of moves that took dance to a new level. The style was appropriately coined as breaking. Soon, the emcee-- who pumped up the crowd and played hype man to the DJ-- followed. Hip Hop was born, and the art came alive with a sound, style, and culture of its own.

Now, the emcee is central to Hip Hop. We've heard lyrics that challenged mainstream culture and politics. Hip Hop has delivered clever wordplay, witty metaphors, and thought-provoking rhymes. Groups like NWA, Public Enemy, and Dead Prez have all proved that the emcee can make a bigger impact than your average lying politician. During Hip Hop's adolescence, a few nonsensical lines have slipped through the cracks. But now that Hip Hop has become the bread and butter for major labels who care more about making dollars than making sense, stupidity has become all too common.

In spite of the current sad state of Hip Hop, I still have hope. Artists like Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Common, Little Brother, and Lupe Fiasco, have proved that even though Hip Hop started with the beat, the emcee is still an integral part of the culture and the power of the word is stronger than the best b-boy freeze.

Unfortunately, some artists have ditched the wit for awful simplicity. It was hard to come up with the worst lines in Hip Hop history, so I didn't. I did, however, compile a list of ten weak lines that would definitely earn a place on Hip Hop's wall of shame.

"If this ain't the truth then hopefully it's not a lie." - Nelly. Apparently there's something between a truth and a lie that Nelly's listeners aren't privy to.

"I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian, like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian." - Chingy. I never took a geography course, and statistics show that 1/5 of Americans can't find the US on the map. So I suppose that we can't rightfully blame Chingy for wanting a girl who's either Chinese or Asian.

"And somethin' somethin' somethin', I don't know..." - Bizarre of D12. There's really no difference in Bizarre filling the beat with blabber and anther rapper who devises a rhyme that insults the intelligence of the listener, but I wish he would have done the latter. Where's the effort?

"Say somethin where you gon' end up apol-o-gin." - Mr. Kanye West. I'm a Kanye fan, but anytime you have to recreate a word for the sake of syllabic accuracy, you should consider another line.

"Hood n***a from Bankhead, I stay by Grandma Nana I lay by my banana, dumpin' and punkin' monkeys." - Young Dro. What? I don't live far from Bankhead, and I must say that I've never seen a monkey anywhere near the area.

"I'll treat you like milk. I'll do nothin' but spoil you." - Lil' Flip. A lot of men have trouble communicating their feelings to the opposite sex, but this line doesn't even have the potential to weigh in on the romance scale. Emcees who play with metaphors are brave, and I've gotta give Flip a mini-clap for even daring to record this. He's obviously far from being a poet, and I'd have to argue that he's hardly an emcee either.

"She made us drinks to drink. We drunk em', got drunk. And now I know she thinks I'm cool." - T. Pain. I wonder how many children thought that getting sh*t faced was cool after hearing this lyric. Hopefully not as many who thought they could come up with a better verse. I have a ten year old cousin who could verbally destroy T. Pain bar for bar.

"I'm about my dough and cheese, just call me a slice of pizza. I can be your pizza guy, deliver your pizza fly." - Juelz Santana. Juelz has developed quite a following, and this isn't even his weakest line. I'm not sure if I should be more disappointed with him or his fans for buying his records.

"You was more than my girl; we was like brothers." - Diddy. P Diddy is known for sophistication and style, but saying this to a lady isn't very smooth. This line would never cause blushing during normal conversation. I'd expect more from the mogul who boosted the fame of the Notorious B.I.G.

"This is why I'm hot, I ain't gotta rap. I can make a mil sayin' nothin' on the track." - MIMS. Certainly a claim like this should infuriate anyone who truly loves Hip Hop. Unfortunately, MIMS isn't far off. There are platinum rappers by the handful without substance or the vocabulary to write an impressive track. It's natural to have a few fools among the masses in any genre. I'm sure for every Justin Bua, there's a guy selling a canvas covered with scribbles and making bank. What Hip Hop is lacking right now is the balance of good lyrics to counter the very bad.

I just hope that Nas wasn't right when he said "Hip Hop is dead." If so, I'd welcome back the popularity of the break beat, hail the DJ, and let the emcee remain the hypeman.