Hosting a Joint Family Christmas Celebrations

Each year we welcome the holiday season and the opportunity it brings for spending time with the people we love the most. Every year families carry on the traditions of the past while adjusting to their ever changing present circumstances. This year, your family may have added new members through marriage or birth. Sadly, you may have lost them through death or divorce. Perhaps you've simply grown tired of celebrating one holiday at two separate times and places with two different parts of your family. No matter what the reason for your joint family Christmas celebration, you need to be prepared for the unique joys and challenges that it brings. This guide will give you some how-to's and food for thought to help make this Christmas the best Christmas for your whole family.

Blending Traditions

Ask anyone about their favorite Christmas memories and more often than not, you'll hear about their family holiday traditions. Because we hold these memories so dear, we're often reluctant to make any changes to them for fear that if we did, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas anymore.

However, when there's a joint family celebration, it's very important to be open to and considerate of unfamiliar traditions. When the people you love are not asked about or encouraged to share what they love so much about the Christmas holiday, they can feel shut out. This can lead to feelings of resentment and anger.

For this reason, it's important to encourage the participation and contribution of all the families represented at your celebration. Our family has continued its favorite things to do at Christmas, but over the years as the children have grown up, married, and had kids of their own, we have melded these old favorites with new goodies.

Consider asking someone from all parts of your family to contribute their favorite music, recipes, and activities to make the Christmas celebration as rich and flavorful as they all are.

Keeping the Stress to a Minimum

The irony of Christmas time is the fact that while it's supposed to be the happiest time of year, it can easily be the most stressful time of year. This can give way to some nasty arguments that go down in your family's history. There are three ways you can prevent this stress and the fights that often accompany it.

1. Set realistic expectations.

Knowing and accepting the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect holiday and that it's impossible to please everyone all the time will alleviate a great deal of your stress all by itself. Also, don't forget that Christmas is not the happiest time of year for all and everyone may not be as bright and cheerful as you are.

If anyone in your family has recently experienced a loss of some sort (loved one, job, etc) they may be feeling more sad than happy around Christmas. Take time to consider their special point of view when planning the celebration.

2. Communicate your plans.

Communicating your plans and ideas will allow others to know what to expect. This will cut down on misunderstandings that lead to hurt feelings and arguments. Often, arguments can be prevented by simply talking to people and giving them a chance to contribute and be heard.

3. Don't forget the practical stuff.

Waiting until the last minute to shop and prepare can make for more chaos, stress, and confusion than you are prepared to handle at Christmas. Be sure to plan well in advance for things like food and accommodations. This is especially important if you will be hosting the festivities.

If you're planning on opening your house for a joint family event, let people know as far in advance as possible. That will give them enough time to get back with you about the specifics you'll need to make this Christmas the best one your (joint) family has ever seen.