Hot Under the Collar: Single Moms and Dead Beat Dads

Stop me if I'm wrong here but biological fathers' taking off on their kids really gets me hot under the collar. OK, so what does it come down to here? From the year 2000 numbers almost 10% of families are run by single mothers. 10%, are you fricken kidding me, one out of ten! Now I know I may be beating a dead horse here, but hey if it's there and it's dead let's beat the dang thing. There are a lot of stupid men out there, and sometimes I can include myself in that group, but I digress.

Why do men take off on their kids? Some men can't handle the pressure, I know, I'm a father, it's a lot of pressure. But you know what guys? If you're not there it's a heck of a lot more pressure on the mother and the kid then if you were there. Or maybe some guys are afraid being a father will cramp their style. You know what guys, you decided you were man enough to have sex, man up and be a father to your kid. Any you know what, sending a check once a month doesn't make you a father, or spending one weekend a month with your kid doesn't make you a father either.

Now don't get me wrong here, some families are better off without the father. I know this; there are stupid, abusive guys out there that do not deserve a family. But for the most part these guys, young, old, and in-between, need to learn to become fathers. It doesn't happen naturally, the kid isn't born and you just know how to be a father. It takes a lot of time and patience to be a good father.

Now, I also know many of these guys did not have good fathers, or fathers at all, this is yet another reason a lot of guys run out on their families. But you know what, that is not an excuse either. If your father ran out on you, do you remember how crappy that felt? Do you really want to do that to your kid, and then have him do that to his kid? It has to stop somewhere. We keep raising more and more kids in single parent homes. These little boys do not know how to be men or fathers, and they do not know how to treat women right. These little girls without fathers do not know how to be loved by their fathers and they end up looking for male love in the wrong places.

OK, I am making a lot of generalizations here, I know, forgive me for that. There are a lot of great single moms out there that work two jobs to do the best they can for their kids, I applaud you ladies. There are women out there that choose to be single moms. They have the intelligence and resources to do this well which is great, again I applaud you. I also understand that sometimes marriages do not work out, no matter how hard people try. But in this case, fathers make the most of your time with your kids. Do not look at being a father as some sort of chore. Every other weekend is not enough, go to your kid's plays, ballgames, take them out to eat a couple of nights a month, as long as it's OK with mom. Guys, lets learn to be fathers, there are lots of great things out there called books to help you. You can even go to places called libraries and read them for free. Read, learn, be educated, we can make things better.