House M.D., Season 4, Episode 2: The Right Stuff

Skipping the interview process, Dr. House decides to hire all 40 applicants. Like his own personal reality TV show,House assigns his 'class' to various tasks from washing his car to breaking and entering. As Dr. House fires applicants at-will, the applicants are confused, disenchanted and revealed for the conniving, manipulative walking-law-suits some of them truly are. Cuddy is not impressed with House's methods, but as usual, gives in and lets him have his way. House refuses to call the applicants by their names and instead refers to them by 'contestant numbers' he's given them. Some applicants are clearly offended and inept, while others instantly find opportunities to eliminate the competition.

His secret patient--code-named by House as Bin Ladin--is a pilot and NASA hopeful, who knows something is very wrong when she starts hearing colors and seeing sounds. She offers House cash to take on the case, and he assigns his group to figuring out what is wrong. Things get almost slapstick at times with the applicants. While trying to diagnose the patient, 'Bin Ladin' is set on fire, hooked up to a treadmill for oxygen, and given breast implants. An older applicant seems very capable, but when an actual procedure is required, he passes his opportunity off to another. Of course, this does not go unnoticed by House.

Dr. House conducts his typical brainstorming session, only this time he fires applicants who do not answer to his liking. After firing applicant 6, the applicant returns with his number upside down, insisting he is actually "number 9". House doesn't fall for it, but when the applicant offers the impressive idea of getting the patient wasted to test her liver, Number 6-turned-9 is redeemed.

While all this is going on, House randomly sees Chase, Cameron and Foreman, but Wilson insists House is delusional, as all three have found jobs elsewhere. But while making the final diagnosis, mid-breast implant/exploratory surgery, Chase interrupts from the gallery above to diagnose the patient. As it turns out, Cameron has been working as the ER attending for the past three weeks--as a blond--without House noticing. Chase has also returned, as surgical staff, to be with Cameron. In his typical way, House flatters Cameron by telling her that her newly blond hair makes her look like a hooker, and he likes it. She returns the compliment by calling him out on his inability to crush his secret patient's dreams.

Personal preference, I hope the evil blond applicant does not make it. She seems very likely to be the next Death Nurse, secretly killing patients who might expose her slightest flaw. "Number 9" is my current favorite for House's next team, and the idea of hiring the patient with no medical schooling as his assistant was fantastic!