House Plants Even I Can't Kill

Last year at this time I bought my significant other a house plant as part of the VD deal. It was a Bromeliad. A Sword Bromeliad to be exact. Pineapples are the most commonly known member of this variety of plants. I had grown pineapples in the past and knew a good deal about them but I didn't know squat about the Sword Bromeliad.

I was just trucking through the grocery store thinking I might should buy the significant other something, when I saw this plant. I thought it was fake at first, but took the time to look at the little tag on the plant. It was a real plant and the little tag said it was easy to care for and a good house plant.

Since I am homeless, that part about the house didn't really matter, but the easy to care for thing caught my eye. So the neat looking plant went in the cart along with the fixings for a good dinner and some dark chocolate.

The plant was a big hit which is a good thing! I was so tired of stuffed animals that danced and sang about as well as I do. The jewelry thing is overplayed in my opinion since I have dropped about twenty grand over the years on bling. Seems like all the bling recipients in my past have the EX title. Bling is possibly why I am homeless now.

Okay, let me clarify homeless! While I am homeless, I have a place to sleep, cook, watch the tube and take discrete constitutionals. It just happens to be a motor coach. Yep, after the big D, I have been camping for the last ..... fifteen years. The IRS is thinking about making my status truly homeless, but I digress.

Back to the Sword Bromeliad, this plant has not only survived but thrived in the motor coach! This particular type of Bromeliad, (read this because I can't pronounce it) really doesn't need to be watered at the roots. They just use the roots to hang on to stuff and get their water and dinner through the leaves. Each of The flat leaves make a small well where they attach to the stalk that holds a little water. You just pour a little water in these little wells once a week if you remember and it keeps living.

The plant does have humidity requirements. We don't have to worry about humidity much down here because we have plenty. If you happen to live in the frozen North Country, (Which I can't understand at all), you will need to put some water on your heater to keep the humidity over 50 percent. (The referenced link says sixty percent but if you water the plant a little more often when the heat is on, these suckers keep surviving.)

Light, hell they don't need much. If you want it grow a little faster give it some more, but it really doesn't need full sun ever. It is like the energizer bunny of house plants, it just keeps living and living. So If you want to impress the significant other with your house plant, botanical prowess, get one of these Bromeliad epi...? What ever the hell it is, check the website. They are great house plants. Just check out the picture!