Housewives: Slaves or Partners?

Why are traditional housewives looked down on by other women these days? They are treated like they are living a horrible life of slavery and misery. It boggles my mind how something as simple as taking care of your family can be seen in such a degrading and negative manner. It used to be perfectly normal to stay at home, raise the children and take care of your husband. Nowadays, that kind of life is treated as forced servitude, overseen by cruel, controlling men with violence issues. Well, I am here to say "Are you frikken kidding me!?!"

When I was in high school, I had plans to pursue a military career. I always said I would never be tied down with kids, and I would never take care of a man. After all, men were distractions at best. I had no idea that my views would change so drastically. I used to compete in rodeos, go rappelling with my ROTC class, spend 2 hours a day on the school rifle range. I thrived on adrenaline and competition. I had no problem showing the guys that I was just as strong, intelligent and aggressive as they were. I worked out constantly. Not to get thin, but to build muscle. I insisted on lifting and doing just as much physical work as the guys because I didn't want to appear weak. After high school, I went to a trade school to learn automotive repair because I didn't want a girly job, and men respect a female that works as hard as they do. In fact, that's where I met my husband.

After I got married, we had children, and I became a housewife. I was raised by a stay-at-home mother, and it seemed like the right thing to do. I enjoy it. I cook, clean, do laundry. I even home school my children. I make sure the kids and dogs are taken care of, and I take care of my husband. He does not control me. He does not disrespect me. He treats me right, and he's always proud to show me off to friends and coworkers. He is a wonderful man, and I feel grateful that I found a husband that any woman would be lucky to get. I am not a doormat though, like so many women seem to think housewives are.

We have a simple arrangement that cuts out a lot of complications and stress. He goes to work everyday to make the money. I take care of the house. Any real stay-at-home mom will tell you that is like having a half dozen jobs all at once. For a while, I was the one working, and my husband stayed home with the kids. A few months of that and he was ready to go back to work full time. He knows that what I do is hard. The thing that keeps us going strong is our mutual respect for one another. As a mechanic myself, I know how hard he works. Having done my job for a while, he knows that I work hard. That's why we have the following arrangement...

Any blue collar worker will tell you that 12 hours of hard work will make you very hungry. So, I make his coffee in the morning, pack his lunch and have dinner ready when he gets home. I also know that a long day in a hot auto shop is very tiring. So, I make sure the house is clean, the kids are calmed down a bit and his spot is set up for maximum relaxation; TV remote, cold drink and a soft spot on the couch. If I need to discuss anything stressful with him, I wait until he is done eating before I start talking to him about it. Why? Because men handle things better when they are comfortable and have a full stomach.

Of course, me being the loud-mouthed tomboy that I am, I am never afraid to speak my mind when something is really bothering me. Usually I am an easy going chick, but when I get PO'd, I seem like a... lets say witch... but he and all his buddies know how great I am. I cook from scratch, no prepackaged dinners in my house. I don't try to get him to eat tofu and veggie burgers. I don't nag at him every time he's five minutes late. Of course, 5 hours means he better be dead or in jail. Our sex life is never boring. Sometimes it slows down a bit, but we always do something crazy to bring it back to life before it gets too vanilla. We are always doing something together. He brings me flowers for no reason every now and then. I give him a foot massage once in a while. We never disrespect each other or try to control one another. We say "I love you" every day.

We are happy, and we have been for 8 years now. So I find it extremely insulting when someone says "Oh, you're just a housewife?" Yes, I am a housewife, and I am proud to be. When did wanting to be there for the ones you love become a taboo? When did wanting to raise my own children, instead of having daycare do it, become such a strange concept? I enjoy cooking, and teaching my children and being there when my husband comes home from a long day of wrenching. Granted, the dishes and laundry and a little annoying, but it's not what I would consider unreasonably hard. There's nothing wrong with being a little like June Cleaver.

I have a message for all you self-righteous harpies... The next time you're about to put down a hardworking woman for taking care of her family, maybe you should think about how your family talks about you behind your back. I used to work in the same manufacturing plant as my husband. I used to go to the bar after work, for a beer with the guys. I heard how they talk about there wives. I know that some of them dread going home to a messy house full of screaming kids and a nagging wife that didn't even bother to nuke him a TV dinner. Kids come to our homes to help bake cookies and watch cartoons. Our husbands bring home your husbands to kick back with a beer and watch the game. Before you judge us, maybe you should take a good look at your own life.