How to Ace a First Date

You are going on a first date and you want everything to be perfect. More than original comments and unique conversational tactics, successful first dates are marked by approachability.

Get your positivity in gear. When set in front of a good listener, it can be so easy to ramble on and on about all of your past mistakes and misfortunes. Instead, raise your energy level, smile engagingly and be charming as hell. Your positive attitude will rub off on your date, and the two of you can be happy together, rather than one of you miserably listening to the trials of the other.

Dressed to kill. Do not skimp on glamour and suavity on your first date. First impressions can last for months, even years, and it is important to wear comfortable but sharp clothing. Do not wear heels or clothes in which you will be fidgety and uncomfortable all night. If you have to concentrate on your pain and comfort level, rather than your date, it will put a huge dampener on the evening. Part of being sophisticated is to dress up your body language. Do not slouch, lean back casually, stare down all the time, fall silent unless simply content, constantly adjust your clothes, or talk nervously for the sake of talking. Sit up straight and alert, keep your spirit reasonably relaxed, ask them about their goals, enjoy the meal and keep your positivity.

Sincere interest in the other person. No matter how self-involved you are, keep your interest in your date alive and active. Try not to sound like a drill sergeant, but ask them plenty of questions about themselves, and speak up about any shared interests. Show understanding for any mishaps which have occurred in their lives, and keep it light by making a couple of light remarks and slowly moving on to a similar subject. Heaviness can ruin a date and especially ruin the desire for a second date. Display admiration if they do or are talented at anything you have wanted to try, keep them appraised of your own goals, thank them for sharing the delicious food with you, and ask them what they are doing next week.

How to get a second date. The key to getting a second date is to be charming and to keep things light! I cannot emphasize this enough. Even if they go on and on about their own troubles, do not compete with a misery story of your own. Nod your head understandingly and express light amounts of surprise and disgust for what they are going through. Then, discuss simple, light solutions to the problem and make some comment about a strength or talent of theirs which will win the day. At the end of the date, you should not still be talking about the problem. Always finish the date with a new topic, laughter or just quiet shared companionship.

Things to avoid. Depending upon the personality of your date, you will avoid certain things in different amounts. Do not discuss family problems. Do not discuss politics unless they are very opinionated, and do not defend your own viewpoints on this subject too strongly, but show more interest in theirs. Never discuss money on the first three dates, even if you have just made a six-figure bonus check or have just filed for bankruptcy. If you have just filed for bankruptcy, you really should be saving your assets, rather than going on dates. Relationships should never depend upon financial situations, so do not put yourself or your date through that kind of mental doubt. Religion actually should be lightly discussed somewhere, so that you have an idea of whether you want to go on a second date or not. This is only to feel them out, not to have a long ecclesiastical debate.

Acing a first date will put you and your partner in a better mood. If you do it well, there will either be a second date or you will simply feel good about a successful evening out. Either way, do not forget to show enough interest that you will at least remember their name the second time around.

Sources:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=8424965