How to Achieve Happiness (Part II)

There is no doubt that everyone wants to achieve some level of happiness. We must first realize that we cannot achieve happiness from someone else. We can't believe that finding a mate, buying a new car, losing that weight is going to help us achieve happiness.

True losing weight will bring some gratification, but if you are not happy with yourself on the inside, you are going to still carry that extra weight around even if it is just mentally.

I always thought that having a man in my life would make me happy. Even if I knew he was not the man for me and had problems that were bigger than me. I thought I could change him, make him happy and this would make me happy. Not so.

So from this I came to the epiphany......"I am responsible for making only me happy, I can't make another person happy. A good and healthy relationship with a man may add to my own happiness but it will not be the reason for my happiness."

Donald Latumahina wrote about ways to achieve happiness in life. I picked out the ones I liked and added my own little tidbits.

1. "Stop comparing yourself to others," - I used to want to be light skinned, bigger butt, straighter hair and teeth because my best friend in high school had all those things. This complex went with me through almost my whole adult hood, but now at 46, I love my chocolate skin, gap in my teeth, small frame body and length of my hair. I do wear a pony tail but that is because I choose to wear it, it is convenient.

2. "Count your blessings," - Even though I don't have the material things I would like, especially a car. I am happy with what I have. I have three beautiful grandchildren and another on the way, two sons and presently neither one of them is jail. I still have a mother who is living and a host of loving family and friends that I love immensely.

3. "Find your inner voice,"- I finally stop running away from myself and became what I knew I should be, but because of fear of men and worrying about what they think, it took me a long time to do what I love to do.....knocking on doors and talking to people about our Creator and the future he promises.

4. "Help someone," - There is more happiness in giving than in receiving. Give your time volunteering for something worthwhile and bigger than you. (Acts 20:35)

5. "Appreciate nature," - Look at creation, the trees, birds and all the lovely and powerful things of the sea. Watch the sun rise or set, reflect and rejoice of the beautiful things our Creator has given mankind to enjoy. (Romans 1: 20)

6. "Pray or meditate," - Always take time to communicate with the True God. It brings inner peace and calmness. I have found when I am going through something to pray and read the bible. It may not take the problem away, but it brings on such a calmness. (1 Thessalonians 5:17, Psalms 1: 1-3)

7. "Know yourself," - Understand yourself, understand your body, listen to your body. I have Lupus and my body always lets me know when I have pushed it to it's limits. Always recognize that we all sometimes need a good cry. Go ahead cry, scream and shout. Our bodies communicate so very well if we would only listen.

8. "Say thank you." - Being polite is a good thing, with so many people in the world who aren't polite, people are grateful when you show that you appreciate their kindness.

9. "Smile," - You can brightens someone's day with just a smile. Plenty of people have brighten my day with theirs.

10. "Listen more than you speak," - Instead of always giving your opinion, take time and listen to someone else. You will learn a lot of that person. (James 1: 19)

11. "Stop judging others," - Stop looking at the negative of someone else, always look for the good. Work on the negative in yourself, instead of pointing out someone else's. (Luke 6:37)

12. "Focus on what you can control." - You can't control what you did in the past, you can't control if someone else has a drinking or drug problem. You can't change how other people may think or feel, but you can focus on you and what you say or do, or decisions you may make in the future.

13. "Forgive yourself." - Forgive yourself for past mistakes, if we are always looking in the past we are not living up to our potential what we can do today.

14. "Forgive others." - If someone has wronged you, let it go. By forgiving them you are helping yourself both mentally and physically.

15. "Know how to deal with problems," - Learning not to panic and stay calm will help you deal with a problem. This is something that I am learning to do more and more.

16. "Accept yourself," - Learn to love the person you are. You are a unique individual, out of all those thousands of sperm cells, YOU are the one who swam the hardest and the fastest to be here. Embrace who you are.

17. "Be a promise keeper." Always keep your word. When you keep your promises it makes you more happy. Let your yes mean yes. (Matthew 5: 37)

18. "Spend more quality time with your loved ones. - " I am always surrounded by people who I love and who love me. We share many many hours together, laughing and talking and going for the same goal.

This is one I put in myself:

19. "When you make an appointment, try to be always be on time."- I have come to appreciate that when you are late for an appointment, then you are stealing someone's else time. No one hopefully wants to be a thief.

Last but not least:

20. "Always love, love, love!' - what can be added to that?