How to Achieve REAL Happiness

The U.S. Constitution has a misleading statement in it. It tells us that we have the right to pursue happiness. Benjamin Franklin is even quoted as saying:

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."

The problem and misleading part of this statement is that happiness is not something we can ever catch. Happiness, along with joy are not things you can place your hands on, they are states of mind. They are feelings or emotional states that we receive when we have attained whatever it is that gives us that feeling or state of mind. Even though it goes against everything the world teaches, the worst thing someone can do is to connect their joy and happiness to material items. If you must have certain material items in order to have happiness, when those items are gone, so is the happiness.

Because joy and happiness make us feel great, just like a drug addict, many people will do anything they can to attain that feeling. When they connect those feelings with material things, those things are like drugs to an addict, they must have them. They will work hard and do what it takes to get them, go into debt, work longer hours sacrificing their relationships or even lie cheat and steal. They will never be satisfied with their life until they possess them. Then once they have them they soon find out that their "High" of happiness is short lived; so they move onto a more powerful drug. A bigger house, a fancier car, a bigger Plasma TV, another pair of shoes, a new set of golf clubs, boats, Jet Skis or whatever strikes their fancy next and once they get it, they find that happiness is short lived as well.

Some folks often tie their happiness to other people; they say things like, "I will be happy as soon as I get married" Then when the honey moon wears off, they kick that person to the curb and go try another one. Some get married, yet still find themselves unhappy and say, "I will be happy as soon as I have kids" Then they say, "I will be happy as soon as the kids are gone and then when they are gone, they complain because they don't see them everyday. It is a never ending cycle, a race that cannot be won. They wind up chasing after something they cannot catch, running right by life itself. People change, some for the good, some for the bad, some come into our lives and some leave. It is apart of life itself. The car will get old and the TVs will get bigger, the houses will get bigger and in a better location, and the clothes you wear will get out of date. Material items do not last and people change and if your happiness is based solely on them, your happiness will not last either.

People who have fallen for this deception and false race often wind up creating their own unhappiness in their pursuit of happiness.

If you chose a career only because it pays enough for you to get your fix of material things rather than because you truly love what you do, you will never attain happiness in this part of your life either. When you come across these people, they are easy to spot. They usually place a higher value on themselves and their possessions than they do people and relationships and they often act as though they are special and better than others because of the material things they have acquired.
"These people usually love things and use people instead of loving people and using things."

They often allow their relationship with their spouse to grow distant and cold and they often wind up missing out on their children's younger years of development; creating regrets and unhappiness that may last the rest of their life.

"Happiness is not something you get by going after it, it's a reward you receive for doing something good with your life that benefits someone else's."

Who we are and what we do will always have an impact on other people. We can either bring pleasure and provision to others or we can bring pain and lack. When we focus on making ourselves happy, we bring pain and lack to others by displaying greed and selfishness, not understanding that in those very efforts to become happy, we often create unhappiness for ourselves. For example, if we place our happiness over that of our spouses we often neglect them, they leave or have an affair and we suffer. If we care more about our own personal pleasures than our children's, we often neglect them and in doing so can reap many nights of pain.

The joy we get in life is not from our efforts to please ourselves but from our efforts to please others.
We were created to take care of the earth and to help people and unless we do what we were created to do, we will never receive happiness. Not in relationships and not in our occupation

Be it a as a spouse or a parent or as a teacher, doctor, florist or truck driver. You should do what you do because that is who you are. You love it, not because of how much money you make, but because of how much of a difference it makes to others. There is no greater feeling than to be in this place. How can someone be satisfied with cleaning a house or cutting grass? Because God creates someone who loves to cut grass and clean houses because he has children that have those needs. These positions that the world would classify as "Low Income" or "Menial Jobs" are just as important as the chairman of Microsoft, the nurse on the mission field or the President of the United States. If you don't believe me, who would you miss the most after a month of being gone, Bill Gates, the President or the one who picks up your trash?

Real joy and happiness can only come when we are doing what we were created to do. It is an emotional reward that we receive for being who we are and doing what we do..... Everyday. When you are doing what you were created to do you no longer work, you live. The happiness is in the journey, not the end. You don't count the hours or complain about the tasks and you don't even think about retiring. What you do and who you are become one. People love you for loving them, and tied to that love is all the joy, and happiness you will ever need to get through this life.

Me? I am a husband and a father. I am a pastor and a writer. That is who I am and what I do. I am one who tries to make his wifes life complete and I try my best to be a strong and good influence in my children's lives. I help my sheep become all God created them to be and I pray that my writing will help all of those who read it have a better life as well.

"You will get everything you want in life, if you would just help enough other people get what they want"
Zig Ziglar