How to Act in the Theater and Live to Tell About It

Bad audiences. They come from all corners of the world. But, for those who covet the tickets they buy to see the performances they have so anticipated, this syndrome is sad.

That said, following are some ways in which to act with proper etiquette, which in turn will help make sure everyone has an enchanted evening -- even a disgruntled audience member who just may be a traveler who doesn't want to be there.:

1. Before any show, if you are already seated and someone needs to pass by to get to their assigned seats, stand up to let them get there with ease.

2. Don't talk to the actors. Case in point: A teacher friend recently took his students to see August Wilson's Fences. During peak periods of the performance, audience members shouted very loud kudos like "You go, girl" -- nice sentiments, perhaps, but in the wrong place at the wrong time.

3. Don't clap between movements.

4. During a dance event, save your sentiments for the soloist until the end of the performance, at which time you can yell "bravo" and applaud as much and as loudly as you like.

5. Refrain from reading the program during any performance.

6. If you missed a line at which everyone around you laughed, don't ask the person next to you what had been said to elicit such laughter. If you do, you will miss the next line and the next line and the line after that -- and so will everyone else.

7. If the person in front of you is audibly snoring, politely ask him or her to leave. You may feel a bit self-conscious about this decision, but the patrons sitting near you will be thankful for this quick solution.

Hard to believe this last one?

Maybe so, but the scene played out happened during an L.A. Opera performance of Puccini's La Boheme just last year. The noisy snoring reaching its coup de grace right in the middle of the opera's most stirring aria. So my buddy, without hesitation, tapped the snorer on the shoulder, and asked him to please leave -- now.

The justification for this drastic action: During intermission, a beaming Kevin was profusely thanked again and again for this very necessary public service. Bravo, my friend, bravo!