How To: Have an Affair and Get Caught
1. Stop having sex with your partner.
After all, you're spending considerable energy with your lover. The lack of affection between you and your partner is a surefire way to let them know something is up.
2. Alternatively, have lots of sex with your spouse.
All that sex with your lover may have you wanting more than they can give! Time to turn back to the spouse that you haven't touched in six years! They're sure to wonder what's going on with you now!
3. Spend lots of time in public with your lover.
Someone is going to see you. And that someone is going to tell your spouse. Heck, that someone may very well be your spouse!
4. Quickly hang up the phone when your spouse walks into the room.
This will ensure that your spouse begins to feel insecure and wonders who you're talking to.
5. Say another name.
In bed. While having passionate sex. Scream it at the top of your lungs. Twice.
6. Work late.
A lot. Every day even. And make sure your secretary has lots of excuses on hand.
7. Come home with the other person's smell on you.
This could be their cologne or perfume. Or it could be the other smell. You know the one I'm talking about.
8. Hide underwear in your glove compartment.
Make sure they aren't yours. Or your partners.
9. Leave a used condom sticking out from just under the bed.
This is especially effective when used in conjunction with number 1.
10. Tell your spouse that you're having an affair.
And then keep having it.
Published by Gwynne - The 25th Hour VA
I am a single-WAHM. I own my own Virtual Assistant business, the 25th Hour VA View profile
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10 Comments
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weird. cheating sucks
Funny stuff, but if you want to have an affair and NOT get caught, all you have to do is type "affair tips" in Google and voila'!
Sad ain't it. A wealth of cheating information right at your fingertips. A little depressing actually.
#9 yikes!
Some people are stupid enough to do all of the things you mentioned without intending to get caught, and when they are found out they are in disbelief that the jig is up :-)
Funny article. Thanks for the laugh!
Great, funny article.
Very funny. And Linda, I think that is why some people do have affairs!
That's so funny. :)
Amusing but true. But why would you want to get caught? Would you want to get caught because you want to end things with your spouse and don't know how? Good article.