How to Get Along with a Packrat or Sloppy Roommate

The biggest enemy to neat freaks everywhere, or those who are obsessive compulsive, are packrats and messy roommates. It's easy to kick a packrat or messy roommate out of your home or room and find a new roommate if you have no connection to this person, but what if this is your boyfriend or girlfriend? What if you've moved in with her and found out that you're going to snap if she leaves one more piece of clothing on the floor or buys one more flea market item she doesn't need?

Keep in mind that a packrat is not exactly the same person as the messy roommate. The messy roommate (or messy boyfriend or girlfriend) is someone who simply doesn't feel like everything needs to be in its proper place. He rolls his eyes at magazine ads with houses that look abandoned. The floors are waxed. The dishes are in the cabinets. All of the clothes are on hangers or folded neatly in drawers. He'd rather walk into the house and just drop clothes as he walks. He'd rather leave his dirty dishes on the coffee table sitting next to him. Why? He may want to eat off that plate later today or maybe tomorrow.

Then there's the packrat who doesn't intend to be a messy person. She feels it's absolutely necessary to keep every single check that she's written since she opened her first bank account at 18 even though she's pushing 40. Everything in the small appliance section or in the home décor department that's on sale is meant just for her, and she feels like she needs to buy in bulk. And she absolutely will never throw away any gift you give her because it's important, even if the flowers are dead and the kids are now young adults and could care less about their crayon creations in preschool.

Whether this is someone new in your life who you've just moved in with, someone you knew was a packrat or a sloppy roommate but thought it'd be different when you moved in together or someone you're just fed up with, there are ways to compromise.

Instead of accusing the messy person of being messy-this mystery was solved way before you came into the picture-try establishing a chore chart. He may not feel like it's necessary to hang up his coat as soon as he walks in the door, but ask him to do it before the night is over. He may not feel like putting his clothes in the laundry basket when there's a perfectly good spot on the floor, but if he knows he has a few hours to spare he may be more willing to do it. If there are rooms that are simply off limits, like your bedroom, where the mess can never occur, have a calm talk with him and explain why it is you cannot handle the mess. Blame it on roaches, mice, bugs, ant farms, bad smells and people who avoid coming over to your house. But let him know that something has to be done and try to reach a happy medium with chore charts or timelines to give the messy roommate a little leeway before the chores must be done.

Find a cute letter box for your packrat roommate to put her letter collection into.

A packrat is a little different. You will probably never convince a packrat to get rid of items, because she truly believes every single item she buys and clogs up your home is important. And if there's memorable value, you can forget it. But like the messy roommate, you can confine the packrat's mess to certain rooms. If she wants to have 45 bathroom towels because they were 5 for $5, then fine, but she must keep them in the den closet. If she has a bunch of small photo albums that have bumrushed the bookcase and you can't put any books on it, buy her bigger photo albums to eliminate some small albums. Make sure not to buy too many or she'll find a reason to take more pictures. She won't want to put her collections in brown packing boxes so try finding cute file cabinets or decorative letter boxes to neatly put things in a place where they don't get in the way.

But whatever you do, don't start accusing the other person of being hard to live with. As hard as it may seem to comprehend, your neatness may be just as annoying to him or her as your significant other's collection or messy living behavior.