How Ancestor Healing Work Can Help You

Many people don't realize it but family of origin has a great impact on the type of life experiences someone has. A great way to understand our present experiences and even work through issues you may have is to take part in ancestral healing work. To help learn about ancestor healing work I have interviewed Psychotherapist Kalila Borghini.

Tell me a little about yourself.

I am a Psychotherapist (an LCSW with additional training in Psychoanalysis and Object Relations) and an Ordained Yoruba/Lucumi Priest. My private practice is based in New York City but I also offer sessions via Skype and phone. Prior to becoming a Psychotherapist, I was an independent consultant in the not-for-profit world for 15 years and have had other careers as well. Currently, my time is divided between New York City and Glen Spey, NY (about 93 miles from NYC) where I live on a mountain-top, surrounded by woods and rivers. It's my opportunity to spend time with nature and my 5-year-old Vizsla named Irae.

What is ancestor healing work?

Ancestor healing work is designed for those individuals who wish to go beyond the creation of a family tree and are seeking to understand the impact of the ancestors on their present lives. Typically, when someone is in therapy or counseling, the therapist will ask about the patient's "family of origin." However, in my experience, this aspect of the work is not given the attention it deserves in the treatment. All too often, sessions quickly focus on the present day.

When I work with individuals who are willing to spend the time in exploring the legacies from their ancestors, we not only create a schematic of the "cast of characters" who are part of the family of origin, but work in greater depth.

What typically happens when a client takes part in ancestor healing work?

The "work" involves both research and process. The first (research) part is to find out who these ancestors were, as far back as possible. These days, there are many wonderful research tools such as Ancestry.com where someone can find birth/death dates, immigration data, marriage dates, and a whole lot of information. Having basic facts provides the springboard for obtaining birth, marriage and death certificates for example, which provide even more information such as birthplace and dates, parents, where the person is buried, cause of death, and so on.. One piece of information often leads to a search for more information. I like to think of it as a treasure hunt.

In addition, as the facts emerge, it becomes possible to trace patterns, legacies, values, attitudes, key events, connections, struggles, triumphs and disappointments and so on that have been passed on from one generation to the next. This often involves conversations with living relatives and family friends as well as siblings, parents, and significant others, as well as the individual searching his/her own memory bank. We are often able to place the individual in a historical context which provides additional useful information..

Then there is the process component of the work, which is done concurrently. This entails discussing what the information "means." The goal of this aspect is to help clients understand the ancestral origins of much of their present day pain and suffering; and also appreciate the gifts and talents they have received from the ancestors. It has as its ultimate goal to help individuals heal wounds from the past; and make peace with their forebearers.

If interested, they can also establish a meditation/prayer relationship with their ancestors and perform rituals in their honor. This aspect of the work is done in keeping with the individual's spiritual and/or religious beliefs.

Where can someone find more information about ancestor healing work?

I would suggest a "Google" search as a start. A search of Amazon's books will also turn up some information. However, most of what I found when I was designing this service was very "new-age spiritual" in its approach. What I offer that is unique is the opportunity to process from a psychological and spiritual perspective, the information that is garnered from the research. On our journey we go beyond the facts in the hope of finding the essence of an individual's ancestors.

Who can benefit from ancestor healing work?

From my albeit biased perspective as a Psychotherapist and Priest, I believe anyone can benefit from this type of exploration into the past. In my experience, many individuals who have "been through therapy" do not feel healed. They may have a great deal of self-awareness and understanding, but the scar tissue remains. Doing this sort of work provides an opportunity to heal old wounds and release oneself from thoughts, feelings and limiting attitudes that bind us to the past. People are often unaware of how much pain, suffering, doubt and shame they carry which is not really "theirs". Those feelings are what keep people stuck. Ancestor healing work provides the opportunity to give the past back to those who lived it, take what is useful, and create their own lives.

Thank you Kalila for doing the interview on how ancestor healing work can help someone. For more information on Kalila Borghini or her work you can check out her website on www.childofthestones.com.