How to Annoy People. 50 Ways!

These are all made up by me so don't make fun because I am being legal!

1. Go buy lots of mayonnaise. Set up a table with plastic spoons in the middle of a busy street corner. Offer people spoons of mayonnaise for $60.

2. Stare at people's foreheads when talking to them.

3. Go to a candy store and fill up a bag of candy. When it is weighed insist that it is 1/5 of a pound. No matter what.

4. Haggle telemarketers for a cheaper price.

5. Haggle car dealers for 28 cents plus a stick of gum. Best if you look dead serious at a Cadillac.

6. Scream and point up in the sky at a busy street corner.

7. Go to a convenience store and ask the clerk how many bottles of beer does he have on the wall.

8. Ask random guys and old ladies when their baby is due.

9. Go up to a group of panting and ask if they have seen Waldo.

10. Moo in the middle of a sentence.

11. End every call from a telemarketer by saying, "Forget this conversation, if you like your pretty little fingers attached to your hand."

12. Go up to a convenience store and ask the clerk for a bucket of fried chicken.

13. Dress up in a tux or other nice outfit and stand at a street corner holding a sign that says, "I am poor and hungry, please wire transfer money to my bank account."

14. Ask a bartender to mix a drink for you and then when you taste it, make a funny face and say, "Blech, (hand it back) needs more cowbell."

15. Sell a carton full of shredded paper on ebay.

16. Go into a bank wearing a ski mask and ask to open an account. When questioned about the mask, reply that you just came back from a ski trip.

17. Ask telemarketers to "Please Hold" and walk away.

18. Stare at someone wide-eyed and when that person looks at you sharply turn away. Repeat.

19. Go up to a random person and say, "Hey, you still owe Don Giovonni 20 G's, he will come after your thumbs if it isn't in by Thursday."

20. Ask people you do not know to be in their will.

21. Bring clams in a brown lunch bag and ask people if they are willing to trade lunches.

22. Use made up words in a sentence and make people feel stupid. Hey get your hands off of my vecintralies!

23. Suggest that bald people have lice.

24. Go up to people at a stadium for a sports event and tell them there is free parking at your house, just a few miles walk.

25. Ask people for their used toothpicks, when questioned, reply saying that you are starting a collection.

26. Ask people for their used toothpicks, when questioned, reply saying that you need a sample of their DNA.

27. Apply for a job and under everything write "Decline to state." Age: Decline to state. Previous work: Decline to state. Phone number: Decline to state. etc.

28. Go up to an old person and loudly play or sing the song "Don't Fear The Reaper."

29. Tell people you shot JFK.

30. Insist that most ice cream has a mild poison.

31. Tell people that the brown M&M's gave you food poisoning.

32. Insist that skipping everywhere is the new style. Do it.

33. Make "Lather, rinse, repeat" your motto.

34. Press all the buttons on an elevator and say you were playing Tetris with it and that you won.

35. Place blank sticky notes everywhere.

36. Hand out blank pieces of paper outside a busy store or mall.

37.Tell telemarketers that you would like to hear their life story and how they got into the great business of telemarketing. When they avoid it say "Hey, it's either your life story or mine, and I'm 79."

38. Ask random people to be your child's godfather.

39. Ask random guys to be the best man at your wedding.

40. Put on headphones or wear earbuds, let the wire dangle with nothing attached at the end and then start singing any song and tell people that it's your favorite song.

41. Go to an opera and "Rock Out" to it i.e. headbang.

42. Quote Snapple Facts and give the numbers. Example: Snapple Fact #111! Only male turkeys gobble! Snapple Fact #94! Lizards communicate by doing push-ups!

43. When asked your favorite food say porcupine on a stick.

44. Type the http://www. when typing a web address.

45. Say your favorite hobby is collecting coins because it is so easy. Go to the bank, hand them a twenty, and ask for pennies.

46. Go on a busy street corner with a bag of almonds. Offer people one. Must be one.

47. Master binary code and write in it.

48. When writing a legal document or paper for school or work, write it in pen and scratch out every other word.

49. Jam puzzle pieces that don't fit together.

50. Write checks for 20 cents and send them to charities.