How the Army's 15-Month Deployments Will Affect This Army Family

There is no doubt being an Army wife is definitely demanding. Those demands have become ever increasing with last month's announcement of extending the Army standard deployments from twelve months to fifteen months. This announcement could not have come at a worse time for my family and I. As my husband and I prepared our children for a maximum twelve month deployment, we were suddenly faced with stresses of preparing our toddlers for an even longer absence.

The only upside to the extension is that we had previously endured a fifteen month deployment 2003-2004. During that deployment, we were prepared only for a twelve month deployment, but on the eve of my husband's return we found out he had been extended indefinitely. I keep thinking, if I could do it then, I can do it now, but then I only had a six month old baby who was born midway through his tour and now we have two toddlers.

There is nothing worse than having to explain to a two and three year old their daddy cannot come home for a long time. Of course, they are accustomed to him coming and going for up to three months at a time, but nothing of this magnitude. Even I am not prepared fully for what to expect while he is away. I have counted on him being here to give me a break each evening and weekend, but while he is away, I have to parent full-time without any type of relief.

I have thought long and hard on how to prepare everyone to get through this deployment. We have talked to our oldest daughter about daddy going away for a long time and she just agrees with us but I am not too confident she can fathom the concept that daddy has to go "bye-bye" and he will not be able to come home in a few weeks or months. She is definitely the one I am worried about.

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, we have devoted to making the best of our moments together. We take plenty of pictures and spend as much time together as a family as possible, yet there is no preparing oneself for such a stressful event. I know my little ones will be yearning to hug and kiss their daddy, and it often brings tears to my eyes to have to tell them he will not be home until he does his fifteen month stint.

Coping with the message of having to do it alone for fifteen months left me with feelings of anger and resent. These feelings were quickly lived and passed rather fast. I realized the best way to deal with any deployment, especially one of this length, is to take the time to make the best of it. I have analyzed all of the negative parts of the new deployment policies and realized all I can do is focus on me and my children. In order to deal with this deployment, I have made it my mission to better my health and take time to teach my children new and engaging ideas. Of course, there will be tough roads ahead through the next year and a half, but what's fifteen months out of a lifetime full of love and fun?