How to Ask a Friend for Your Money Back

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be" succinctly describes the wise counsel given in a Shakespeare play to avoid getting involved in lending or borrowing money. Doing so can lead to a loss of your money as well as spell the end of your friendship. But if you have lent a friend money with the understanding that you will be paid back, how should you ask for your money?

Fulfilling Your End of the Deal

Remember that if you have agreed to lend a friend money, that this was a two-way street. Before you approach your friend and ask for your money back, make sure you have fulfilled your end of the bargain.

Did your friend agree to pay you back within a month? Or once they had received their next social security payment? If so, do not ask for your money back until this time has elapsed; otherwise your friend will think you do not trust them and may bristle at the early request for repayment.

Speak to Them in Private

There is nothing more humiliating than cornering your friend when they are surrounded by others and then loudly demanding your money back. It is best to speak to them in private, rather than make them a public exhibition in front of other people.

Even if your friend does not show that they are annoyed with your public approach, they will not thank you for it and this could wreck your friendship, even after you have received your money.

Stick to the Facts

When you have been waiting patiently for your friend to pay you back, but there has been no sign of them bringing up the subject, let alone taking any positive steps to do so, this can lead to a justified sense of frustration and even betrayal.

Rather than lash out at your friend, stick to the facts as they stand. How much does your friend owe you? When did they agree to pay you back? Did they agree to pay you in full or in installments? Present your friend with the facts when you confront them.

Owing a friend money can easily change the dynamics of your relationship. But you will want to preserve the friendship, if at all possible. Start off by fulfilling your end of the deal. This can be as simple as waiting a month for your friend's money to come through before they have enough to pay you back. But if your friend owes you money and has still not approached you to repay the loan after you have fulfilled your end of the deal, speak to them in private about the matter, rather than letting the whole world know your personal business. Stick to the facts when you confront your friend, so that you do not say something you may later regret.

More from this contributor:

How to Tell If You Are Living Within Your Means.

Lending Money to Adult Children: Advantages and Disadvantages.

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Lending Money to Friends.