How to Assemble an Office Chair.

Step 1. First catch your office chair. They can usually be found disassembled, in a roughly rectangular box. Their usual habitat is in office supply stores. After a successful hunt, return home with your office chair.

Step 2. Get a screwdriver. You don't have a screwdriver? Guess it's back to the shops with you.

Step 2b. Buy a screwdriver. In fact, buy several, because you cannot remember which type you needed. It's ok, you needed some screwdrivers anyway.

Step 3. Open up the box, take out all the parts and look over the instructions. Look at the first step in the instructions. Try to work out which one of the fifty assorted nuts, washers and screws is 'part Bxi5'. Realize that you cannot discern this information from the drawings on the instructions, all of which depict the screws to be about the size of an ant.

Step 4. Pick a random screw, it'll probably work out just fine. Begin attaching the J-bar to the chair back.

Step 5. Undo the screws when you've realized you put the J bar on upside down. Re-attached the J-Bar to the chair back.

Step 6. Undo the screws again to put in the washers you forgot about. Reattach the J-Bar to the chair back.

Step 7. Begin assembling the seat of the chair. Screw the base plate on, and then scratch your head as you realize that you have plenty of nuts but no bolts, and thus no way to attach the chair back to the chair base.

Step 8. Curse under your breath.

Step 9. Return to the store to buy bolts.

Step 10. Attach chair back to seat. Assemble base of chair. Tear the skin off a knuckle trying to force the wheels into place.

Step 11. Curse (in a muffled manner) while sucking on your injured knuckle and glaring at the chair.

Step 12. Attach base of chair to seat. Find a family member to test the chair because you don't trust it any more.

Step 13. Once family member has tested chair, sit down in it your self, and discover alarming tendency of chair to rock from side to side.

Step 14. Decide that you'll learn to live with chair's similarity to fairground ride.

Step 15. Create modern art piece using left over nuts, bolts and screws.

Step 16. Sell modern art piece and use the proceeds to buy a pre-assembled chair.