How to Avoid Becoming a Home Wrecker

While perusing Yahoo Answers today I came across this question, "I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend. What do I do?" As if enough people have not been hit by the stupid stick already, sigh. My first inclination was to laugh, and I did. When the chuckles died down I really thought about this question for a minute. What kind of train wreck could this person possibly be creating? My only solace was that I assumed she was probably the tender age of thirteen and breaking up a relationship at that age may cause a few harsh words but she should come out alive. For anyone who has survived adolescence you know that the girls will inevitably bond together and create names for the former boyfriend that are too obscene for me to write here. Kids these days. For those of us who are over eighteen and should know better, what do you do when this happens to you? It's tricky territory regardless of what side you're on and navigating this dilemma does not come easy.

My very first reaction is to scream at the top of my lungs,"Don't do it." If that's not loud enough for you, I'll scream it again and again and again till you understand. You may like anybody you choose but it's when you act on those feelings that we have trouble. Yes, I mean we as in all females. No one wants to be a home wrecker, except maybe Gretchen Wilson and even then she was singing about somebody else. Here's a quick and fast rule, stick to available men, no ifs ands or buts. I do not want to hear he's leaving her, because you and me both know he's not. I do not want to hear that the danger of being caught is appealing. Bungee jump if you need a thrill. I do not want to hear any excuses. Thirteen year old's have the right not to know, but grown women should know better.

We could blame it all on the men. They come after us, they seek out the relationship, they lead us on, etc., etc. These things are all true, except for one tiny fact. We don't do anything to stop them. We blindly follow like Little Bo Peep's sheep until they have us right where they want us. Usually in some compromising position on the day their girlfriend comes home early from work. So why don't we stop them? Because we want to believe they are genuine. We want to believe their promises. We want to believe they are for real. Face it, women want to hear certain things and when they are not hearing them they will find a way to hear them even if it is completely false or made up. Don't fool yourself into thinking this is the best thing for you. Likewise don't play games if you can't handle losing, especially games with consequences.

Of course you despise his girlfriend and why would you like her? She gets everything that you can't have. She gets his time, his affection, and everything else that makes up a relationship. You get two hours in a cheap motel every Monday night between football games. Of course you do not like her, but maybe you should sympathize with her. You are not the one who's boyfriend is seeing another woman, think how you would feel. I know that's a difficult thought especially when you are the other woman. While we are on the topic do you really want to be known as that? There are many adjectives that could describe a person, many nicer adjectives. Why put yourself in a position to be labeled with such a dirty, ugly phrase?

You know you deserve better. You know you do so why do you put yourself through this. Do you really expect him to leave her and come to you? No, in your heart you know it is not true. Besides if he cheated on his girlfriend with you what would happen if you became his new girlfriend. Do you really think he would not cheat on you as well? There is a pattern of behavior here and your best bet is to get out of it as quickly as possible. Find a hobby, hang out with your friends, date available men. Available men that treat you well. Try that out and see how it goes, you may realize what you were missing all along. Before you know it you will wonder why you ever were involved in a situation like that in the first place. Plus you will be smart enough to never let it happen again.

Even when you are thirteen you feel temptation. It is an instinct that starts out when we are very young. Do you remember reaching into the cookie jar when you were a kid when your mother told you specifically not to? Do you remember that sheepish look you had on your face when you got caught? Now magnify that look and multiply the guilt you felt by one thousand. That's how you are going to feel if you venture into this territory. For those of us who know better going after a guy with a girlfriend is a very bad idea. An idea that we would all like to avoid if at all possible. When you are thirteen and growing up and becoming your own person you are very impressionable. Maybe this girl really does not know any better. i hope someone tells her that she cannot go after a guy who is taken. Or else she's going to spend the next few years of her life with a very bad reputation. People tend to remember women who stir up trouble.Be remembered for something good, something you can be proud of. Steer clear of unavailable men for good. Trust me, there are plenty of available, willing men out there. Sometimes you just have to look and how can you look if you're wasting all your time on someone who will never return your affections? .

Sources

Yahoo Answers