How to Avoid Being a Jerk: Part II

Many times, people find themselves in a rush, which can lead to "Jerk Moments". The are moments where normally you would not be a Jerk, but you didnt have time to properly think things through and ended up being a Jerk instead. Pay close attention to some of these examples, and take your time, Jerk.

1. You're leaving a store or public building and your shove open the door, walk through, and then never touch the door again as it slams into the lady behind you. Maybe you could take a second to hold it. Chivalry may be dead, but you will be too if that lady is my grandmother, ya Jerk.

2. In line at the grocery store you have enough food to feed all of China while the person behind you literally has some saltine crackers and a box of green tea. You need to step aside, Jerk. Don't sit there counting up your coupons and writing out a stupid check. (ps No one should ever be writing a check at the grocery store ever again. That's as antiquated as me going down to the lake and hauling my water home for baths in a jug on top of my head.)

3. Do not throw trash out of the window of your car to save time in cleaning the car! I will force you into the median you Jerk.

4. (California Jerks specifically) Do not smoke in the woods and throw your cigarette out into the bushes. You're gonna burn it down you Jerk. Wait till you get home and burn your own trailer down instead.

5. If you find yourself very busy, but someone is trying to talk to you, stop what you're doing for a moment, listen, and then tell them you're really busy but you'll talk to them when you're done. Ignoring someone is the best way to have your building burned down Office Space style.

5. The trash was taken out by someone other than you, but they forgot to replace the bag. Don't be a jerk and toss your trash directly into the bin spilling coffee grounds all over the bin just because you don't want to take the time to put in a new bag. You're a Jerk.

6. Watercooler runs out of water as you fill your glass. Guess what Jerk, that means you replace the jug or ask someone strong enough to do it for you.

7. Do not put empty ice trays back in the freezer, Jerk. What the hell is the point of that?!!

8. When you're planning to head straight from the right lane at a red light and you see people in your rear view trying to squeeze by you to turn right on red, move over JERK! Don't take up the whole lane just to prove a point. The only point you're proving is that you're a selfish Jerk.

Remember, being in a rush is no excuse for being a Jerk. So slow down, pay attention, and don't be a Jerk.